Now I am back I feel happy to be safe and happy to be with my kid and loved ones again. I felt relieved.
But I always start to feel so imprisoned in this society after a short time. I miss rivers and forests and fields and fires and play. I miss the social freedom, the lack of social rules and control systems I had there. When camping and hitchhiking. When on someone’s private farm. When on the streets, even.
Others seem to be perfectly fine with being in this society, that I experience as a prison. What is wrong with me, that I’m not fine with it? That I always want to escape to rivers and forests? Or what is wrong with others that they don’t?
I must say that I live in a very urbanized, overpopulated and highly organized country. But still. Others are perfectly comfortable with that. Why not me?
I feel your pain and I have for a long time. Funny how our paths have crossed like this. There’s a patch of woods down the street and a park. It’s always ten degrees cooler there. I should go and take my mandolin.
Thanks, both, for the recognition. What do you do to cope? Or escape? Or find little spots of freedom? Or like-minded people?
I just asked a friend and he said society wants to fit you in certain limited mals, with preshaped forms. And I’m just weirdly shaped.
From my perspective they are the ones weirdly shaped. And nasty for violently forcing me into their ideas of what is good. Why on earth would someone want to sit in a grey classroom or office environment or hospital or appartment or shop, serving psychopath leaders instead of, say, swim in a river or walk in a forest or play or grow veggies or dance or…?
I felt my apartment for awhile like a tomb for the living dead, but i am over it. These days its like a home. But when you like the country that much, i wouldn’t hesitate moving to the country.
I think there is nothing wrong with enjoying Netflix and comfort, I guess. I just think society (and the people around me) could leave a little more room for people who don’t enjoy such a life. Example: I’ve been severely scolded and pressured by family for months because I thought my kid could do without a fancy smartphone when still in primary school… I think that’s completely intolerant.
I also think the antidepressant topic is a bit nuanced. There are people with such vulnerability to genuine depression or such bad life experiences that their only way to have a (bearable) life is antidepressants. I feel medications like these are severely overprescribed though. They aren’t only used for severe and debilitating chronic depression… but also for grief or marriage problems or not fitting into your life very well or being in a problematic family or society… in which case a critical look at circumstances might be more helpful than numbing yourself.
A society that needs so many people on numbing medication to cope with its disfunction, might want to do a bit of self-reflection rather than kill that feedback loop off by drugging everyone.That is what I should have done for my own life too, I think.
i don’t feel right in modern society. happened in my 20’s. i began living my life indoors where as before i would walk freely around town or drive a beat up minivan have parties on public land with a who gives a damn attitude. it’s too busy. too fast and loud out there for me. i spent my time living on farms and loved it. it was however mental health treatment too. then leaving i always crapped out mostly. don’t have a way of getting away like you seem to have. where i’m living now is off the road and in the trees luckily but i may be moving into a busy apartment complex again. managed that many times but the thought of it is getting the better of me.
I would say my life is okay and I’m fairly content. I enjoy my family. I have some great friends. I enjoy my hobbies. My job isn’t wonderful, but I know I’m lucky to have one and it feels nice when I’m recognized for being good at it. I usually run out of month before I run out of money, which is a real blessing. All that being said, I become suicidal very quickly without my ADs. On them? Smooth sailing.
I understand. As I said: if people get severely depressed or suicidal without AD and their life is otherwise good, I’m the last to make them quit.
I also saw loads of people - including myself - use an AD as a replacement to changing shitty or unfitting life circumstances or problems within themselves. Example: a girl who regretted her marriage severely and wanted out, was prescribed and AD and badly pressured to never divorce. She didn’t get marriage counseling either. I think that is a little strange.
I want to move! There isn’t much of that here though. Or not affordable to me. Our agricultural land prices are the highest in all Europe, especially in my part of the country. And I dont have money. Couldn’t even buy myself a parking spot in my city. Many starters, even with two fulltime salaries, can’t afford a small appartment here. Let alone a countryside plot of land.
I have thought to move abroad, but because of all sorts of circumstances that would mean I would need to leave my underage child. Which is unacceptable to me. My love of him is deeper than my love of nature and freedom, I guess.
So…for ten more years it is tolerating concrete buildings and 3x3 meter gardens in exchange for cuddles from my child.
You could say the same thing about antipsychotics, if these are your thoughts on the matter. That they are altering your ‘natural self’. The truth is that, generally, meds are taken to correct something that is not working properly. Should I stop taking my diabetes medication because my “authentic self” should just suffer with high blood sugar?
Mood is a subjective way with no test to supply a human with chemicals to ‘fix’ it… No objective test that the medication is actually targeting something that has been measured
APs flick off a lot of switches in the brain, until that person finds one that switches off more negative experiences than the side effects it causes. Not scientific
High blood sugar can be measured in the home, and is a basic thing to dx
You are implying I have not done sufficient work on myself. I’m thirty years clean and sober and have managed to do pretty much everything the psychiatrists said I couldn’t do. I’m moderately successful and functional to the point where I intimdate neurotypicals. The only really confounding thing for me is the suicidal thoughts, which appeared a few years back. I take my pills, I feel awesome, I live my life. I reject your criticism for it – I believe it to be ignorant and unfounded.
Sorry you can’t freely choose where you want live, but the positives of a city they are lots of places to go to and shops are everywhere. Maybe you can create a selfhelp group with likeminded people.
No one has a right to belittle the experience or diagnosis of others.
Saying that ADs should be only prescribed to those with severe or debilitating depression…who are you to determine what is severe or chronic or debilitating to another person?
No one knows the life of someone else.
I really enjoy nature and hiking, camping, can identify and forage all sorts of plants and mushrooms. A hobby of mine was survival skills.
Didn’t make me want to unalive myself less. ADs do that
Many starters, even with two fulltime salaries, can’t afford a small appartment here. Let alone a countryside plot of land.