Just wondering if anyone has days like I do…some days I feel quite anxious before I go into work, other days I feel good about myself and my job and I feel really confident. I believe I may have a mild form of social anxiety - though have never been diagnosed with it. Neither my boss nor my colleagues know about my schizophrenia - it was easier disclosing my cancer that I had 2 years ago. Anyway, sometimes when I am work, my paranoia gets the better of me, I work in a café, and I keep looking around me to see if anyone is watching me…I get a feeling I am being watched…but doing this also distresses me even further because I know its my illness making me do this…wish there was a cure for schizophrenia…I have been relatively stable for almost 10 years…does overthinking things make it worse? Two weeks ago I went through a bad patch, I came home from work and just cried and cried - never felt so low as I did that night…but that soon lifted . my partner was there, I also told my sisters about this downer…I cant help thinking that life is too short…
good on you for working
good on you for working with your sz 
and i am really happy that you over came your cancer…amazing 
i used think everyone was looking at me too…but it is rubbish.
people are too self absorbed.
you are a star
take care 
Thank you darksith, your kind words are really uplifting…I DID come through a lot with the cancer…I just feel so lucky. God gave me a second chance for a reason.
You are a very strong person. Blessings and best wishes on your recovery. A lot of us with sz do tend to have social anxiety. I try to push myself a little everyday to go out and socially interact with people.
I hope this passes and that you start doing better. Working with Sz is difficult. You are very brave.
I wish you the best.
I’m sorry that you’re having problems at work but you still deserve a huge congratulations for the fact that you even show up there at all. Don’t take this the wrong way but I bet if you didn’t have a job to go to, that you would not be doing very well in your life. I’ve been at my janitor job for 4 years and yes, some days I feel good at work and some days I feel bad. I’m very self-conscious at work too, at work, I think that the world revolves around me. Having bad days is normal. The Beatles revolutionilized the music world and had the world at their feet but even they had bad days. (you will have to excuse me, I’m a huge Beatles fan). Yeah, this disease can mess with your mind and with your emotions. When I hate being at work, I remind myself to be grateful that I can even hold down any job at all.
Realizing life is too short is a deep expression I normally don’t show around others. If your paranoia has been interfering too much at work I’d get an appointment. There could be greater realizations in your life too that you are going through that take time. Hope that things stay clear for you
Thank you all so much.
LWD1982, I did have to bring forward an appointment with my psychiatrist last autumn as I was feeling pretty bad. It helped a bit.
One thing I’m really looking forward to is my wedding, I’m getting married in under 5 weeks time in Gretna Green to the love of my life. Its a dream of mine plus, having been rejected in relationships before, I’m finally genuinely happy. I know I’m so lucky. I have a lot going for me and always try to remind myself of that.