For many years I’ve had memories of the ethereal realms, how they looked and felt, how they smelled, this feeling of pure oneness with everything in that place.
I hate how real it feels. I miss it, I miss this far away place that I once belonged…but it may not of even been real. That hurts because this longing is so intense.
Sigh, ramblings of a mad man over,
Does it have to do with drugs?? Because that’s how I feel when I miss psychedelics
Na, nothing to do with drugs, it was different than that, I think I experienced the other side
Through schizophrenia, a NDE, or what??
You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to…
I’m not sure, I feel like the memories came from before I was born, but that shouldn’t be possible. I can’t place where they started
I get images in my mind of an alternative earth where I have blonde hair and it is like utopia. Seemingly it’s the same place but with a much different fate. I also have tons of dreams where I’m in a strange dark dreary rainy world that everything is close and far away at the same time. I go to alternate worlds a lot in my dreams. Probably more now that I’m conscious of it.
That’s interesting. Apparently, I have false memories, or else the world is a very different place than most imagine it.
@Ooorgle @Jonnybegood When I was little I created a universe in my mind that I would go to while being abused. I wouldn’t feel or hear anything going on around me. I would just silently stare. But I was in a beautiful musical world. Could you have created this place long ago and just not remember?
I’ve suffered some abuses in my life, it’s a possibility. I do have a bad habit of wandering off in my own mind and losing touch with stimuli. Bring it up with my Pdoc?
You could. It might be most helpful with a therapist. But yeah I’d let my pdoc know.
During my first real psychotic “break” I spent two entire weeks holed up in my apartment in that place…not answering emails or texts or phone calls, not eating or drinking. I yearn for it so powerfully sometimes, especially when I get flashes of memories of it. Mostly it feels like such a distant foggy dream & idk probably I can never go back there. I died several times during those weeks. I shuffled through different dimensions. I saw god. I touched the fringes my own hell. My body did things physically that I never believed possible. I’ve never felt more real in my entire life. I was told that they would take me to a reality where I could be healthy & loved & I said yes, but sometimes I feel like the ending of that Bergman film Through A Glass, Darkly where the woman’s transcendental delusions turn out to be a big scary spider hallucination. I dunno haha I’ve never been one to expect much out of life so I guess it’s ok. It’s just been excruciatingly painful sometimes like metastatic bone cancer painful & I never would have signed up for all this if I knew it would involve such pain. And also idk where my place in this finite world exists so that’s hard to grapple with. I feel like my place exists THERE in that infinite realm, but it’s so far away anymore. Lol maybe you get it?
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