I feel like a complete failure as a human being. I was diagnosed very young, about 14 and have never been able to stop the cycle of new psychoses and different meds. I dropped out of high school decades ago and never recovered, more because im a coward who doesnt handle stress well than that im sick. I shy away from everything in between psychoses, then when psychotic i engage in borderline criminal behavior of the most embarassing sort. The longest i lasted at a job was three months before i felt defeated. I went to college for one semester but realized or imagined i was in over my head when it came to the math part. Im afraid of people even though i desire affection. Ive never had a girlfriend or wife or children. I spent most of my teens and early twenties afraid to leave the house and to some extent im stil that way. Im now middle aged and have never recovered. Im terrified of everything. Maybe im just stupid.
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Hi your not stupid. At least you made attempts to do things. I only leave home to go to the Dr mostly and I dread that immensely.
Welcome to the forum! First of all I don’t believe that your stupid, People with schizophrenia are some of the most intelligent people. Sounds like you have anxiety issues as well. I’m middle aged and have lost everything but I keep on keeping on. You need to find a purpose, have something to look forward too. You are more than what you think of yourself.
Welcome to this community i hope you like it here.
I think youre being very harsh on yourself.
If you compare yourself with mentally healthy people then maybe your life so far has been a failure… materially. But compare like for like with other schizophrenics then maybe youre not doing so bad.
The ‘failures’ you mention are typical and par for the course for many people with sz/sza. So i think its a mistake to blame yourself when its due to illness.
I feel the same eventhough i was diagnosed later i always had symptoms. Try to find fulfillment in small things and bond with the people you trust
I think i know how you feel. Im sorry that youre in the same boat. I just felt i had to reach out. My counselor said online forums might be a good way to feel less lonely. Youre on here too, so at least youve got company. Thank you for the support.
Thank you, but ive actually met a lot of relatively high functioning people from time to time with sz. It seems like i stand out in my timidity even from other people with sz.
You have a severe mental illness. Cut yourself some slack.
Once you begin to recover - and as long as you stay sociable, that will probably follow in due course.
No your not stupid. Your overwhelmed with emotions.
Try to chill out. It does get better.
Your not alone, i have agoraphobia and sz and pd so i struggle
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