There’s no denying it . I’m a failure.
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When I was first hospitalised I felt like I had to give a “report” or summary of my progress in life to the nurses station . I was being prompted “telepathically” to do so.
I knocked in the door of the station and told them that I had “pass-failed”.
I thought that was accurate. In life I had failed in some things and “passed” in others.
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I understand the feeling, but how do you measure failure?
Have you seen the movie It’s a Wonderful Life? George feels like he’s a failure because he can’t live up to his father’s expectations. George indirectly loses an $8,000 deposit for his company, and he tells Clarence (an angel) that he wished he was never born. Clarence grants his wish.
Now that George was never born, Clarence helps George to see his life through a different lens, from a different perspective. George comes to realize how different his town would be without him in it. It’s a point of self-realization.
We should all acknowledge our worth and understand that our contributions, however small they may seem, have significant impacts on those around us.
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I feel like this a lot as well, its very depressing and i get really upset with myself, i actively try and avoid thinking of this and instead focus on what i have accomplished, Learn from the bad times and improve if possible for a better tomorrow.
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It’s too simple to label yourself a failure. Anyone judging you without looking at the reasons why you have not done certain things in life is not looking at the full picture. All the bullying you went through was not your fault, things like that would shatter many peoples self esteem and confidence. I can relate to you in the sense that we are the last people who should have got schizophrenia. I only got bullied for a couple of years in high school but my self esteem and confidence was gone long before that. I didn’t go through what most boys go through or grow up like other guys. A big part of me is missing and trying to gain it in my adulthood backfired spectacularly and and any remnant of my self esteem and self confidence was trampled and broken these past several years.
And your bullying really affected you too and your life. We were ill equipped to handle schizophrenia. You add schizophrenia to the mix and both of us are lucky we can even get out of bed in the morning. I think we both have extenuating circumstances that colored our lives.
With all your other health problems I think you can be given a pass on not being able to accomplish the things you think you should. Count your blessings, you are able to live independently and you have a daughter that loves you and care about you and helps you. So you haven’t been able to work; a lot of people are in the same boat. The streets are full of people who can’t work. Count your blessings.
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Failure= never had paid employment,only have o levels, can’t drive a car, no friends irl . I’ve seen that movie. It’s a very good one. My father had a good career, not top notch but equal to 2 star general level. I’ve come nowhere near to matching that.
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“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid .”
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Why do you have to match your father’s accomplishments? Maybe your father worked so hard in order for you to have a better life than he had. Thus you are honoring your father by living your life in the best way you can.
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Sorry you come from such high standards. Jeez what higher standards could there be.
This is honestly just an obvious self esteem issue. You have family that loves you. You are a smart guy who does many things online. Even if you dont have friends irl, you have friends here and elsewhere.
This is honestly mostly about beating yourself up. I dont have any real life friends Im in direct contact with anymore besides my fiance, not including family. I dont consider myself a failure. I have lived with my parents for like 8 or 9 years. I dont feel like a failure. etc…etc…
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It really is all about your attitude towards yourself. Improve where you can but dont beat yourself up if you sometimes fall short in some areas.
And it is never too late to try to improve where you feel you need it. All those things I just told you about and after years of not having much…I am buying a house, getting married and looking for a part time job.
Change what you can but dont beat yourself up where you cant. Its a pretty simple but effective philosophy.
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A good question, I think because out of the 3 of us(younger brother and sister) he supported my sister most. Yet she’s the one who’s had a successful well paid career. That was how it was when he was alive .
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I’ve always liked that.
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I’m about as much of a mixed bag , cognitively speaking, as it’s possible to be. I don’t condemn/criticise other people for being like that. I’m far more self critical than critical of others.
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Do you condemn your self? Just wondering because I am so self critical and condemning of myself. Of course with the help of my voices.
Very much so. 15 char
Oh I do the same. Talking to a professional helped to a point. Then we just kept going in circles. I stopped it. But I am better. Nobody’s said anything condemning to me personally. But I have personal shame and condemnation internally about my inadequacy with my life.
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