Failure 2020

Sometimes I have the insight to accept I’m a failure.I was relatively privileged(middle class family,private education), but too weak to cope with being bullied because I was different. I live a basic lifestyle far removed from the pre illness expectations. Even then I do badly without support…In the ways that matter I’m inept and stupid.

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Its not our fault, its the mental illness. Better not think about it, think positively.

You’re neither inept nor stupid. You prove that consistently in your posts. You need help, but it’s your illness, not your intelligence

Oo` Oh No your not these thing @firemonkey… I find you quite versed and educated with many knowledgeable things.

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in these times it is easy to fall in to …but hold your head high and don’t let them see you cry, your a wise man in your ranks buddy you have gone father then most here on the board. why i’d say you smart …

@firemonkey I don’t think you’re a failure, inept or stupid.

I think you’re good at some things and not as good at other things. That’s true of all of us, at least it is if we’re being honest with ourselves.

It’s good that you recognize when you need support with some tasks and that you’re able to get the support that you need.

The following sums it up well.

Oftentimes, this split makes me feel like I have not quite multiple personalities, but multiple intellects. There’s a bright person and a somewhat mentally impaired person, and they’re both sharing space in my head, running my everyday life with varying degrees of success. Maybe the most frustrating part is that the intelligent side of me is fully aware of the impaired side of me, but can do nothing to fix it, except talk a reasonably good game, I guess.

I wasn’t trying to knock you in that thread last week.

My point was simply that you would feel a whole lot better about yourself if you became less reliant on other family members, and tried harder to look after those mundane daily chores that you seem to have so much difficulty with.

You’re a bright light in many areas…just need some coaxing in other situations.

Hey @firemonkey we all have our strengths and weaknesses. I know how you feel about the bullying, and not living up to family expectations.

You’re respected here.

We’re here to help if you ever need to just chat.

What matters varies massively between one person and the next.

All people should expect is you do your best on any given day

^^ The thing is that, contrary to what you and others think, I have tried over the years. I would never say to anyone here ‘You’re not trying hard enough not to have psychosis,’ or to a cancer sufferer ‘If you pull yourself together you’ll feel better’ .


I think attitudes like yours can make people hold back from getting the help they need, and to feel guilty for having those needs. I actually spent a dozen years going under the radar in terms of needing help and support .It was a case of increasing self neglect. I could cut off all help and support , so as to please you and others, but that would be a recipe for disaster…

I don’t know where this has come from.

If you don’t want to seek support, then I am unsure why you made the OP TBH on a peer support site

It’s not about not wanting support. It’s about the easy,glib and unhelpful attitude that if you struggle with something it’s because you haven’t tried hard enough.

I never once said anything like that to you @firemonkey

The second ,longer, sentence was not directed at you. It was a general observation based on personal experience.

Well I don’t want to get involved in trying to help if it’s just going to upset you more as you seem angry.

I’m far more more frustrated and hurt.

Well the reason is I am trying to help because I don’t like it when people feel that way, and all I have the power to do here is to try and reassure you that not everyone is wanting to harm your wellbeing

I’m OK so long as people don’t jump to the glib but wrong conclusion that it’s all about lack of effort.

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I remember you were one of the few people to support me in my most wildly misunderstood post to date: the fallacies of the can-do attitude, or rather, the smug folk ideology built around it. The can-do attitude -and everything it entails- is an inherent part of our moral grammar, the a aprioris with which we address moral dilemmas. So it’s not surprising that people should mythologise their successes -whether real or imaginary- and chart their progress based on incredible tales of will-power and the rest. Many people will get emotional, even angry, if their morality fairy tale is debunked.

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I’m personally not a member of the ‘If you really want to you can be good at x,y,z etc’ school of thought. I have strengths and weaknesses. I can improve on my weaknesses, but comparatively speaking they’ll still be weaknesses.

My strengths help in an environment such as this, but are not transferable to daily, practical situations. I do my best, but even so I need support to have a basic, but reasonable enough quality of life…

The alternative is to let stubborn pride govern my thinking, and end up sooner than later in a pile of crap.

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