I’m not suicidal or depressed. It’s just an existential crisis.
The last few days a thought has stuck with me. What’s the point? In life and even after life. I just don’t think there is a point to any of this. That’s true even if I didn’t have sz, was successful and rich. There is just no point to it.
I guess what I’m gonna do is think about what the point is. What do you guys think the point is?
Solve problems. Provide value for people. Be creative. Climb a dominance heirarchy, or make your own.
Just figure it out, fundamentally. Play around in the mud until you find something you like.
I don’t need a point. I can go months without worrying if there’s a point or a year without caring if I have a purpose.
In practical, everyday life I get up in the morning, take a shower most days, and live my life whatever that entails.
Some days I feel something similar to you and I may think I need a better job and why am I stuck in this job and why am I not getting a better job. But hell, I have my reasons.
And yes, sometimes the thought of “what’s the point” crosses my mind but personally, at this time it’s counterproductive and I kick it right back out and just live my life.
Right now I don’t even know. Usually I say something like to love and be loved or to be kind but that’s crap. There’s tons of people who don’t love anyone who get along just fine. So I guess the answer is probably different depending on the person and depending on the day and some days, well we just won’t have a purpose and we will just be floating aimless.
It comes down to having a lack of purpose.
I guess at the end of the day the purpose is to grow, be happy and make others happy. That means I need to do more of that.
I’m just in a blah mood I guess.
Have the courage to discover.
I’ve been thinking about that since the beginning of the disease. I’m in my home all day long and just do that, thinking what’s the point… So that i wonder if it’s not somehow a symptom.
I’ve never really thought about it. It’s just at this point it’s hard to see any point in it.
That’s true even if I had everything I ever wanted. It all just seems like there is no point. We are trudging along to die. Then we go to heaven or just die. I understand heaven is suppose to be infinitely times more happy then here. That doesn’t even appeal to me. There is no point in it.
It’s like I said I’m not depressed and quite comfortable with my lot in life even happy. I’m just struggling to see a ‘point’.
I come to the conclusion that the purpose is to grow, be happy and make others happy. The question is why, though. They’re gonna die eventually too.
At the end of the day I guess I gotta dig deep and believe in hell. That’s something I’ve never really believed in or feared. I just know now it’s an alternative to life that is infinitely times worse than life. That’s not something I want.
Like I said I’m not suicidal or depressed. Just an existential crisis.
Well my mom is taking me on a mini vacation. That sounds nice.
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