Everything is fine, but everything is not fine

At times I feel like everything is fine and that I’m wasting my time trying to find help, at other times things just seem out of wack and that I should find help quickly.
Earlier today I was way out of my self and became confused. I could hardly figure out how to open the box to a microwavable pizza. I kept arguing with myself on my own sanity. “I’m fine” “No I am not…” “yes you are” “no youre not” “leave me alone, shut up”

Last night I felt as if all could easily be fixed by simple things, no need for a doctor, apparently I was also hostile towards a friend. He had thought I was mad at him since he told me I’m not fine.

I always know I should get help, but at times something makes me wonder if I’m just making things up and that I shouldn’t bother.

Anyone else have this happen? Anyone have an explanation?

ive come across this every once in a while but then my symptoms kick in and i remember what i have. so i dont really have a problem with it, even though sometimes i think im cured. which in turn i try to go off my meds because i think i might be fine. but after a while i see that im not, that is if my symptoms dont show me that im not. im not saying to go off your meds so. but ive noticed that i have problems with certain emotional aspects which are due to stress with seem like this. but its more to how ive been emotionally been built by the world, which is why im glad i go to therapy every two weeks. its a good reality check with someone who is nuetral, and looking out for your best interest. i would suggest it if you can get it for free.

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I’m not medicated nor officially diagnosed. I just know something went horribly wrong and I’m clearly ‘losing my mind’
Its just hard to keep myself convinced long enough to get the required help. I talked to the school so they could help me, so thats a good start

Maybe because of mood of the day? It happens to me. Sometimes I think I have recovered, but that was merely my illusion.

i get like that at times over the past few years, where end up thinking i must be faking it but really the stuff that has happened would be impossible to fake , but i dont take traditional medication just niacin for the past 3 yrs, which tends to make think i dont need it cuz its just a “vitamin” even if i take like 500 times the rda , but whenever i stop taking it , after a 3 weeks of not taking it all my positive symptoms come back.

The thing is how I’m not really medicated yet the symptoms come and go. They still stay just a tiny bit but they are gone enough to seem as if its all fake.

Believe me… it’s not fake…

Just like everything you will have good days that will make you doubt yourself and horrid days that will cut you down to nothing.

It’s just the way this illness likes to ride. The biggest thing is get help weather your feeling Ok or not. Getting help early will also help you not slip further and further down into this.

There are so many articles now that advocate getting help ASAP so you don’t have to have a mental break and loose functioning.

It’s hard to do… lack of insight is one of our most notorious symptoms… but don’t give up getting help when your having a good day… your not faking…

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Thanks for the reassurance. Finding help is really hard when you can’t even keep yourself convinced despite all that happens.
Once I do see another psychiatrist and truly get a diagnoses than I will be able to start treatment. My current diagnoses was basically “It is most likely Schizophrenia” I had deleted the email because I hated seeing it. Towards the bottom he said I should probably sign myself into a psychiatric hospital as well.

The main thing that keeps me in touch is how I become out of touch with reality during depersonalization. During that time it seems that sanity is thrown out the window. Everything likes to start back up at that time.

You are pretty strong, and I hope you see your way into getting some help. If you get the right meds, You will be able to tell the difference.

Thank you.
I’m sure I’m missing out on a lot, there is no way that life should feel like this.

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