I can’t stand it every day I am so terrified that I will make some mistake that will allow the demons to hurt me. I will be weak and call out to them for the physical pleasure or fall for one of their tricks again or give into their pressure or SOMETHING. I am so scared of this.
I am addicted to the sensations they give me unfortunately so I will never be entirely rid of them.
I guess you are on a new med for awhile that has helped you b/c I haven’t seen you posting about them harming you as much?
That’s why I’m so scared I haven’t been hurt in a long time the dread has just been building up. It’s like the sword of Damocles I’m just waiting for it to drop. I can’t stand the anxiety of it.
In the past sometimes my anxiety got so bad I actually called out to the demons or gave in immediately just to get it over with so I could stop dreading it potentially happening and not knowing if it would or not, as insane and stupid as that sounds.
It isn’t stupid or insane. It is natural to hate anticipation of a terrible event. Anxiety can get high enough to feel legitimately life threatening. Although I’m glad you haven’t had attacks lately It is deeply unfortunate the anticipation is that destructive to your well being. Maybe the demons are really going away. I hope so.
Thank you, you always say very kind things that make me feel better.
Anytime. I’m very happy to hear that 
your posts always give me hope I can regain my prior level of functioning and perhaps even get higher. If you experience what you do and achieve than so can I. Meaning I can overcome the negative things in my life too
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