I don’t know if it’s necessary a delusion, but at the very least an obsession connected to my mental illnesses. I talked to this one girl at church on Sunday because she looked lonely and didn’t know anyone, so I went up and welcomed her, introduced myself, and then carried on a conversation with her. Anyway, afterwards, I cannot take my mind off of her and have had a dream last night about her. It wasn’t erotic, thank goodness, but still, I really liked her in the dream, too. She’s attractive that’s for sure, but not overtly so, but I keep being so focused on her, obsessively so.
I really don’t want to do something stupid, and find myself doing something that is contrary to my religion, so I’m asking this: How do other schizophrenics or OCD sufferers take back control of their erotic delusions? No one knows either, even though I just saw my psychiatrist.
Yeah, maybe. Maybe I attributed too much to my illnesses, but having them since I was 12 and full on since 15, I never had the experience of falling in love.
You might not be in love. If you don’t know them well, you likely are just experiencing instincts that will try to compel you. If you don’t like the girl and are still having the thoughts its likely because you are lonely. Having no female companion will not make it easy to let go.
Ok dude. It seems to me like you are either already dissociating from the experience or really trying to.
The issue here isn’t the experience itself, it’s what you are making of it. You are seeing it as a driver of some kind or a threat of some sort. It’s not. Your interpretation is.
What you are experiencing is a blessing, don’t go making it into a curse by attaching goals to it, which then lead to compulsions so on and so forth. There is no goal because you don’t want there to be one, period. End of discussion internally.
Once that’s established and you can relax you’ll find that it’s a source of beauty in your life and you’ll learn to treat it accordingly.
All in all I envy you dude. The days where I felt like you were among the most worth living of my life. That’s how feeling alive feels like, treasure it, you’ll miss it when it’ll have been gone long enough.
I’m not sure I follow. Do you mean that it’s just natural to feel like this even though I only talked to her once in my entirety of living? And how am I dissociating?
You are treating the emotion you are having like an alien trying to control you dude. You may not be actually dissociating in practice but you are at the very least thrown for a loop about how to handle yourself in this situation and seem very willing to dissociate in order to put some distance between yourself and the emotion itself.
Whether something is normal or not is largely irrelevant. This happens to be normal but what’s relevant is that it’s a novel experience for you and you don’t know how to handle it. It doesn’t matter if it’s normal or not. The focus should be on how to frame it in a way that makes it a boon and not a curse and that allows you to still behave however your morals and ideals dictate.
That kind of emotion should remind you that the world is a beautiful place and life is worth living, not make you doubt your self-control. You are framing the experience in a very disheartening way. Too many thoughts, way too much baggage attached to it. It’s weighing you down.
Try to stop your mind when you go to sleep tonight, no fear, no doubt, no judgment, nothing. Call that emotion to you and just let yourself smile and fall asleep. That’s it. That’s all there is to that emotion. You falling asleep with a stupid smile plastered on your face for no good reason. Your body is literally telling you that according to it you’ve had a great day, you don’t need to prove it wrong or figure out why. Act however it fits your morals and ideals but take the W.
P.S. Oh and pour a metric ton of innocence on top of it too, because that’s where you are going wrong, way too much malice, way too much grown up BS unnecessarily bogging it down. That’s an emotion you want to approach with a pure heart, like a kid who likes his classmate, not like a jaded man entering a brothel. She was nice. It was nice. Life is nice. This pillow is soft. The bedsheets are cozy. Today was a good day, I Hope tomorrow will be too. That’s it.
Even after I see female doctors who are attractive to me and we have a appointment I get symptoms. I keep thinking I am telepathically connected with them and can’t get my mind off them. I am very busy and having to do something like make dinner will frustrate me and get my mind off them. Also after I take my medication it dulls my thoughts and feelings enough to a point where I can control them and put them into perspective with my beliefs.
Every time I’m about to get lucky in a dream, my Mom walks into the dream holding a plate of pancakes and says, “Hot cakes anybody?! Fresh off the Griddle!”
I think I really need to talk to a professional about this.
No offense but those church girls are freaks … sexual repressed and everything maybe you should follow your instincts and maybe see if there is anything there ?
maybe you should follow your instincts and maybe see if there is anything there ?