Erasing paranoid schizophrenia

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I try telling Phil that I have a major disability

and a lot things are hard for me

but I did some big time cleaning yesterday

was offline for hours

I’ll do more today too

he’s starting to understand that I have to be in the mood

to get done

my housing paperwork has been waiting for weeks

I beg him to sit down with me, and just be beside while I do it
watch me, and make sure it gets done, but he hasn’t

and now the rent is over a thousand dollars a month

my mother does this too, she thinks I should be high functioning

because it became a standard for years

I think I just stop caring about a lot of things
and it’s rather sad.

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What things? I don’t care for many things either

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just care around the house, and volunteering

and being healthy in diet and exercising every day

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Yes, I know. I strive and struggle too

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My daughter has done what she can for me

she’s taken me to ER a few times

I was in pain, and very upset, and couldn’t calm down

they almost shot me with a sedative, but my daughter said no

I was also scared to death of these people, and was crying

I hated her to see me like that, she still needs a good mom.

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@Daze Do you see a counselor? Could you bring Phil to an appointment with a counselor who can facilitate better communication and understanding?

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yes, I should, but I got this new place in town now,

and I want him to come with me to meetings, and appointments.

I can’t make him though.

The last time, he said to the intake worker, She does this,

like I wasn’t even in the room!

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I’m sorry you are going through this. Everyone deserves to be taken seriously. It is so hard when your significant other doesn’t understand how real your symptoms are. I hope things get better for you.

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I’m sorry he won’t go. That must be really hard on you

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I appreciate you still talking to me

yeah, Phil is sorta a red neck

but he makes up for it in bed and cooking.

We always both care deeply about ailments, though

could be anything little or big. He will ask me how I am now

and I do the same for him.

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Sometimes I have my days. Sorry for being a birch.

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