Emotions, how to get them back?

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I gradually lost my emotions since prodormal sz. Not only romantic but most types of emotions. I am emotionless most of the time, if not I am angry and irritable. I also lost this feeling of security. This not only destroyed my romantic relationships but also eventhough I have one close friend, I don’t connect with him at all. I feel distant and alone. He has strong emotions unlike me. I can’t even show emotions towards my family, parents etc

During psychosis I do have emotions but they are inappropriate and sometimes violent if triggered or attacked, even my family told me that. I would misunderstand others often and laugh for no reason. My voices also make me laugh alone like a crazy person. My pdoc told me I make false connections in my brain which lead to illogical, crazy and inappropriate thoughts and behaviors.

Since I got sz in 2010 I never experienced emotions again. Is it possible to get them back? How? Or its permanent “brain damage”?

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I seem better online than irl regarding emotions.

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I feel like he’s superior to me and smarter than me emotionally. Honestly I am lucky to have him as a friend.

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When my parents get visitors and I sit with them I have nothing to say, they seem to enjoy the conversation making jokes, talking about life etc but me I feel like I am in a different world alone, in my own mind. I can’t integrate with them or join them. I feel like they’re too far from me. Is this normal?

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Well at least you responded, whenever I make a thread about emotions I get no replies. On Abilify my motivation and energy were better but I still had no emotions. Nothing brought them back since sz, not even stimulants. Maybe its permanent.

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Sorry, peeking at boards while working. I remember feeling hollowed out at first. I started making myself do things just so I wasn’t sitting on my couch in front of the boob tube all day. Really feared my brain rotting from not stimulating it. I started enjoying myself when I was out and it became easier. These days I can’t stay inside if I see something I want to photograph outside. I fly out the door with cameras and enjoy every second.

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I have had reduced emotions after starting medications. When I have been on 10mg olanzapine or more it has been really bad. I’m now on 6,25mg. I have emotions but they are far from what they should be.

How were your emotions on other medications?

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Not any better. Nothing helped. I was on 6mg risperidone which is 30mg olanzapine but recently went down to 5mg which is 25mg olanzapine. Lower than that I get symptoms.

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What about when you were on abilify? You mentioned you lived a much more active life then.

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I had more energy and motivation but still no emotions.

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When did they go away? After first psychosis?

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I had some emotions before sz, a bit. But after sz even what I had is all gone. Nada.

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I think you are asking a difficult question. I think about the only thing you can do is keep trying different activities and hope that something clicks. I think having low expectations is not beneficial. Try to have no expectations and you might be pleasantly surprised by your enjoyment of stuff.

Edit: I think my post is more about anhedonia than no emotions, but I think they are related.

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I think I was born with little emotions and then sz took away even the tiny bit of emotions I had.

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Well…I guess all people have a different range of emotions and each have a own normal. So the feelings you had are probably normal for you. It’s too bad they have gone under the surface. They are probably still there I would think. But most AP’s reduce emotions.

Maybe if you switch to something else they could resurface a little. I had lots of emotion on Latuda for instance. But olanzapine works really bad for my emotions. Are you going to try Vraylar?

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Yes hopefully next month. I don’t expect it to give me back my emotions but at least if it gives me a bit of energy and motivation to make me go out of bed and exercise it will be good.

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You never know. Switching meds is almost like entering a different reality. I really hope it works for you.

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I assume you’re asking about the negative symptoms. I don’t have a good answer for you, but here is a video that sheds light on the mechanisms underpinning these symptoms. The speaker in the video is a surgeon.

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@Aziz

Good luck trying new meds do let me know if they help any

(As you probably know from things ive said here)
I have hardly any emotional feelings
I crave cigarettes and get stressed more in supermarket or going out anywhere because of being followed watched, people reading my mind and anxiety
Thats as much oh and i can feel slightly amused sometimes or horny a bit sometimes probably tmi lol
Yes it feels like i pretend to smile and fake a smile just to appear normal to family

Im on injection every month but at least im not as sedated on this
Meds have had no effect on this problem whatsoever im numb flat on all the ones ive tried and theres been a few

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