I am diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. I have appointments with my doctor and some lack of interest do not let me communicate with him with proper accuracy in the speech. I feel tired, hopeless, my motivation is not good, I do not focus very well, sometimes I have headache, internet makes feel me tired sad and lonely too, I rarely achieve any goal and I lack self confidence too… Landscape, buildings and people in general make me sad visually but not only, I think I might be experiencing fears and something more, it is like everything is gloomy and sad, I imagine how good it would be to end my life and relief this inner pain and erase all the bad feelings. Paranoia become more a form of scrutiny but it goes along with fear and sadness. What is your opinion? Do you share any of these feelings? Am I possibly depressed?
Yes.
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Sounds like negative symptoms and depression.
it is possible to have more than even 2 diagnosis.
I have PSZ, Bi Polar, Manic/Depression, ADD and Dissociative Personality Disorder all at once,
but yes you sound very depressed.
It is very common for people with schizophrenia to get depressed for obvious reasons. I got diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia inn 1980 when I was 19. I have experienced many of the feelings that you listed. Suicide is a serious subject. If you feel seriously suicidal than you need to get help. Most people with schizophrenia who attempt suicide and survive say that they are glad they didn’t succeed. So don’t attempt, you don’t really want to go that route.
People who attempt suicide are like a horse with blinders on his eyes. They have tunnel vision. All they can see is negativity everywhere and hopelessness and that’s all they’re focusing on. But if they look around they would see that life is not that bad or at least it’s bearable. If they can see beyond their depression they can see that there’s hope.
Life with schizophrenia is not all doom and gloom. In my opinion, every person who has schizophrenia knows what it is like to suffer. I suffered badly but I have had innumerable good things happen to me and I’ve had some great experiences despite the disease and many other people can say the same thing.
For most people, the first few years with schizophrenia are the worst and hardest years. But it gets better People with schizophrenia date, some of them get married, we work, we go to school, we have friends, we travel etc, the list is endless. I’m not saying that we do all these all at once, but we can certainly do combinations of these things.
I would say about myself that I have very little confidence, I have low self-esteem, I’m not ugly but lots of people are better looking than me. But despite these things I have worked for almost 35 years, I have attended college, I’ve flown across the country a few times (and boy, are my arms tired, lol),
I’ve had a couple of girlfriends, I’ve had friends etc. Your life may never be like you want it to be but you can certainly get something out of life. You can realistically do things to help yourself.
Medication is the biggest help for people with schizophrenia, it helps the majority of the time, so if your doctor prescribes medication than take it exactly how he prescribed it. See your doctor reguarly.
DON’T DO ILLEGAL DRUGS. That will derail your recovery for sure. Listen to the people who try to help you, they are not against you, they just want you to get better and lead a good life.
Some people fight their own treatment, they make it harder for themselves by being rebelious, or stubborn. Try to avoid that.
Anyway, your life is not over when you get diagnosed with schizophrenia as you will see if you stick around these forums and read the posts. I wish you good luck.
Manic depressive is an outdated term for what is now called bipolar disorder.
Thank you 77nick77 and thank you all for your replies here. I am waking up with some “morning depression” again, I made some coffee, coffee slightly masks the darkness for a while. The weather does not help, we have grey skies again here.
I have some difficulties with my doctor, it has to do with my speech also. I had an internment in Hospital after ten years of some freedom. Now, dosages are very high (maximum perhaps). I take an injection and still take pill from the same medicine. My mood changed, weight changed, sexuality too, wiliness and motivation and mood are the worse parameters. My Doctor do not accede to change dosage or to remove injectable. This is the second time this happened and it represented a big stagnation in life before with very poor quality over years. Here law allows me to complain writing but I am avoiding conflict because unfortunately, the reason is rarely on our side, we are sick and mad and “they are the professionals”. The question is that they know theory but we really feel the effects on us, like mood and even muscle pain, incapacity to react, feelings of abandonment, and so on.
Pressure is high, I am depressed like you agreed or at least negative symptoms are challenging me… There are the economic motives too, some familiar problems and I must confess suicide occurs me often. It comes like a recursive pop-up idea, I did not explore detailed methods but I think about it.
I wonder why I am not on antidepressant and why best practices like to put the patient on the lowest effective dosage are not being established.
There is something more: we, schizophrenic people have some common characteristics. I believe we are usually more intellectual, but not sure. Since I am sick, in spite of this fact, I make problematic approach in educational opportunities and the result is self-study only. I was confronted with a disability employment program in our village and become very depressive once more, all I have done in my life was toward a better literacy, in official studies or not, but now I am in front of a noisy and dusty machine to work for the first time in my life… for now I can refuse, but I wonder if it will be forever or if someday depressed or not I am working and not being paid in a hostile, non healthy situation. Many things are depressing me, it is organic and situational. I will try to find help, maybe dual diagnosis really apply.
Thanks again.
my doc has me listed as both lol
That is probably just a mistake on his/her part. They both refer to the same thing.
I am feeling slightly better which make me believe I was having temporary depression or just negative symptoms. This line is not clear and I feel a little bit frighten now, like fears + adrenaline and I can not be very explicit. I wrote this also to complete this thread. Thanks.