so yesterday I had 3 glasses of heavy gin and tonic and while I didn’t get drunk - I am getting some weird side effects and talked to myself most of the day today.
Other than that - I am going to the gym in one hour and will workout. I am eating 1000-1300 calories a day and that’s it.
Need to burn around 200 calories at the gym - it is enough since I will go three times a week.
@cherie
I used to drink. Eventually I reached a point where I had to make a life-or-death decision. I chose to live.
It sounds like you realize you have a problem.
I stopped drinking for like the whole month in Jan then restarted. It is just not something good for me - I need to stop drinking completely.
@cherie
I’m going to ask you a tough question, and you do NOT have to answer it. Do you know WHY you drink?
yeah I know - it is because I am unhappy and miserable and have extreme negative racing thoughts all day so at night it is an escape I guess.
@cherie
I understand (that takes guts to admit that). I also drank because I thought no one would ever love me. I wasn’t smart enough, good looking enough,etc. I felt like I just didn’t belong.
the problem is I feel stuck - with no future. Trapped on earth I guess. I feel trapped. =( with this illness and racing thoughts… maybe winter also made me a lot more depressed.
@cherie
Don’t give up. Keep hope alive. 
My wife is going to drink herself to death. It’s just a matter of time. Alcoholism is a horrible disease. She has been inpatient once already and relapsed.
Says she is happy drinking.
My mother in law says I am an enabler but I don’t know what else I can do for her.
Quitting drinking is not impossible, millions of people have done it before you. I really hope you get a handle on your drinking and everything turns out alright.
Have a nice night @cherie.
Realizing you have a problem and wanting to change is a huge step in the right direction. I used to drink til I passed out every night to drown out the racing thoughts, too. It is a hard way to live, but you can overcome this. It may be hard but it’s definitely possible. Best wishes to you in your recovery. You’re in my prayers.
I have non-alcholic fatty liver disease. So my liver is not in the best shape. My doctor told me not to drink any alcohol. So I’ve been drinking non-alcoholic beer. It still tastes pretty good, I guess.
your politeness and punctuation reminds me of someone - it’s cool =)
Yeah I just made some grated ginger and lemon tea and just taking it easy.
My exercise was good. I did 20 minutes weight training and 10 minutes cardio.
Is it me who reminds you of someone?
Exercise is supposed to be the single most important thing for health. I usually do 10 minutes jogging 30 minutes walking per day. And sometimes I do exercises with 8 pound weights.
first you remind me of the mystery guy - and you also remind me the guy who reminded me of the mystery guy HAH!
Yeah I am so happy to exercise… I feel so much better. Just need to take things slow to stay consistent by April / May reach my goal.
what happened at your job ?
I’ve never heard of the mystery guy.
They said they liked me at the interview today, so they are going to call me in a few days to set up a final interview. The head of the deli department is going to set me up with her manager. So hopefully I will get the job! (crossing fingers)
I also applied to a bunch of jobs today. So I’m making progress towards my goal of employment.
Did you hear back from that makeup artist job?
Drinking can become a miserable habit, and then getting off it for a few days makes the targeting much worse.
Alcohol in moderation could be fine but 24/7 is when you know you have a problem.
I’m in the same boat as you. I crave alcohol because it helps me relax. Last time I drank was two weeks ago. Before that I hadn’t drank in a year. Alcohol is going to be the death of me.
When I went to AA I thought alchohol was worth dying for. I got lucky and got sober at AA. I couldn’t give it up on my own.