Well mental health goes hand in hand with the truth and our media. Plain put.
Sounds like youāre in a dark place and Iām sorry to hear that. I know that you really donāt want sympathy (if you are where I have been and I understand). I think that it is in part from environmental stressers and my psychiatrist even told me the voices are my own thoughts, which is down right disturbing to hear from a doctor. Itās a mess, man, but let me share this with youā¦ time exists only because the universe is going from a state of mixed energy potential to a resting state (the end of time). Think about that. This means that matter developed into you and your mind from the compressed spring that is DNA and life. This happens once for each of us and thus even if itās dark right now, why not see where things go? You are able to take the reigns of your life and literally do anything you think of with this capacity of life. Time ticks in one direction and never becomes stuck in one state for long. Are you taking anti-depressants? Are you doing therapy? If nothing else, are you looking at the night sky or the creations of artists, the creations and effects you have on the universe? You are worth every second of the life you breathe. Never forget that.
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Iām not giving up, not one bit.
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This guy is so matter of factā¦
Donāt give up. Yes, your trauma experiences are true, a lot of people share your cynicism about governments, and so your anger can find a proper outlet. I mean you are complaining about brutality, violence and exploitation. Thatās a very correct and moral stance. So donāt do their work for them.Dont kill yourself because that lets those people get away with it. Donāt do anything violent because that lets them justify their behaviour. Be an activist. Join peaceful groups that try to right wrongs. You were in the forces so you have skills you could use. You are clearly so frustrated that you could have been used to do ill. Now, search out groups that do good. Your moral pains have nothing to do with your sz. They are entirely and wonderfully humane, not an illness. Your sz may have been triggered by trauma, but it doesnāt need to prevent you from building a good life in harmony with your conscience.
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I know things look dark now, but consider this mood as a passing phase. You can always find something no matter how small to change your perspective. I read a book that used the analogy of an airliner pilot making small adjustments to get to his destination. You have a long way to go, just like a plane, and you never see them making sharp turns to get from Houston to Atlanta. No, they make tiny adjustments to get there. It is the same with our goals, find your goals and make tiny adjustments to stay positive and on track.
I used to use the treasure chest technique with my therapist. Iād talk about my past trauma and then Iād pack it away in the chest for later observation. Crap like that doesnāt need to be on the wind shield of your mind, just wipe it away and look at your future. You have to keep focused on the good stuff in the distance. You will get there.
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I really like that phrase. I like it a lotā¦ thank you for that.
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No one is saying that cannabis usage is the main cause of schizophrenia. Because not all schizophrenics have smoked it. Studies show that PEOPLE WHO SMOKE cannabis are more at risk of it causing schizophrenia.Itās just ONE of the factors in people becoming schizophrenic. But not everybody smokes cannabis. Like you or someone said, it can be a combination of environmental and genetics. Iāve heard trauma can TRIGGER it if you have the propensity to get it anyway. Anyway obviously youāve had more than your share of trauma. It must of caused much stress which also triggers schizophrenia. Iām sorry you are getting drunk every day, itās probably not helping. Can you DEMAND therapy at the VA? Itās what YOU want that counts. Maybe if you bug them enough it will help. I wish I could help you but all I can say is that Iāve felt suicidal many times in my life. in fact even with my life now which is good in many ways suicide is still somewhere in a corner in my mind, it crosses my mind often. But I am so glad I never committed suicide. So glad. And Iāve been in some bad situations and circumstances with drug addiction and relapsing in my mental illness when I thought I was home free and I thought I would never be hospitalized again. I was wrong. I had a severe relapse in 1988 after 6 years of steady progress before that. But I kicked drugs in 1990 and not coincidentally I havenāt been hospitalized since then.
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I canāt help it. Sorry
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Bless you-you have been through a lot!
What do the people say at the VA when you ask for help?
i know there has been a lot of controversy about the VA lately.
Can your doctor refer you to a therapist?
Sometimes writing things down in a journal can help.
I wish peace for you very much.
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trauma induced my szā¦
happy timesā¦
dark sith starts to sing a ā happy ā song.
" laā¦lalaā¦laā¦laā¦laā¦"
take care
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Yes I have journaled during very intense times and have recorded every tactile and auditory hallucination for about 45 minutes. It too many pages since I used return button for every hallucination. Itās not fun to give them so much attention yet I did it and the documentation was returned to me and my Dr. who wasnāt a psychologist retired and left. Now all I have is a social worker and a pharmacist, I wish Iād get my act together and really try to timeline the things that have happened on paper. Yet that worries me a bit. I really appreciate the help.
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For you dark sithā¦I love that motherland media we have nowadays,donāt you???
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In my case, with information from my psychiatrist, this site and from my experience, I think that there were many causes that they combined during my life that the result was my schizophrenia. The causes were: genetic predisposition, a trauma when I participated in a 12 steps group, in my home there was a tense atmosphere, there was a emotional violence and I avoided to face the problems of day-to-day.
Tolteca
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Face to face terror can be a lot to handle. I know that youāve progressed a lot just from your post tolteca, I hope you can keep posting and take initiative to help us all buddy.
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I mean face to face in (this world) of hallucinations I deal with.
This girl I was infatuated with said she didnāt want to be with me. That send me into huge shock. She even told me to see a psychiatrist. I had been sleep deprived for a couple weeks, and I just felt my heart click into a steady beat. I think this was what caused my psychotic break. This girl saying ānoā to me.
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At least she wasnāt necessarily a (hallucinatory love). Just keep going bud.
Heās quite a happy chap, isnāt he?
did not come up on my computer, so could not watch itā¦having problems with interference.
but thanks for taking the time to post it.
take care