Sometimes my past doesn’t bother me but other times randomly like the last couple days I ruminate nonstop and am just in such a bad headspace thinking about traumas, past, over and over and over with no productive conclusion whatsoever. Maybe me and my therapist need to break out the emdr again this thurs…
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emdr?? I ruminate too but not about traumas, more about delusions
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Emdr is for ptsd she like hypnotizes me kinda. Well she waves her finger and tells me to think about a certain trauma and follow her finger it’s quite simple actually but it feels like your brain is being activated in such a way by having to folllow her finger that it works better for processing events. Some therapists do it differently but it’s popular in the ptsd world.
I don’t think I have severe ptsd but enough bad traumas that they come and go throughout the years.
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Sometimes I think I had psychotic ptsd originally, and that’s why I got into psychedelics+marijuana so strongly, because it’s decent medicine for ptsd, but then when people broke into my house and messed with me for 8 hours straight while on a ton of lsd, alcohol, and weed In January of 2010, it only brought out schizoaffective and made the trauma situation a bit worse. Especially since one of the people who messed with me was also responsible for the biggest trauma of my childhood. I think about him a lot. Sometimes lately I think to send him a scolding text. YOURE SUCH A BAD PERSON but I think better of it.
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Yes it can have flare ups and remission times like any other illness. Mine is the same way.
I used to mistakenly think the remission times meant it was “cured” and I was over my trauma but it doesn’t work like that, unfortunately.
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This happens, usually when someone was traumatized before adulthood. They might do a good job of “forgetting” about the events at first, or at least ignoring them. Why the issue returns is not always clear.
The insidious aspect of PTSD is that it is often a chronic disorder, while some people report being free of previous symptoms with or without treatment. I do not have any data on hand to support this next statement so I am going to add it anecdotally and only on the basis of textbook information. IMO, the shorter one waits to get help and support the greater the likelihood of a positive treatment outcome.
A separate, but related question, is whether those long-suppressed memories are accurate. Clearly in some cases, the memories have have been independently confirmed. And in other cases, especially when the memories were dredged up by therapists who were looking for abuse memories, their validity is questionable. This has been extensively debated.
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I read your title and immediately thought, “yes, it does.” Having read your post, I stand by that statement. I’m sorry to hear that you’re stuck in a loop of reliving your traumas. I myself responded very well to EMDR to get over my wasband’s abuses. I hope it works well for you. hugs
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