I ask this because I swear it seemed easier when I was depressed. Sure, I was miserable, I was crying all day, everything felt really difficult. But at the end of the day I was still able to get things done, at least it seemed like it. I’ve had a few depressive episodes from bipolar, and although my pdoc initially thought it was happening again this past February… it just felt different. Not only was I not sad, my motivation was not just impaired, it became nonexistent. Everything seems so exhausting and literally impossible. But my partial program is like “Well do it anyway xDDDD” like I can’t f*cking do it! It doesn’t even feel like a matter of “willpower” anymore I feel completely sapped of all of my motivation, like actually disabled.
Am I alone here? Anyone with SzA feel similarly when comparing their depression and avolition? Like at least to me they just FEEL very different in magnitude of the amotivation
No for me the depression is the worse of it. I’ve been laid up for months where I actually could not get out of bed. I’ve had times where I’ve lost 30 pounds in a little over a month from total starvation. I was in complete darkness completely cut off from everyone.
I don’t know the difference between avolition and lack of motivation, but I rarely get super depressed. Most of my depression was from dropping out of college 7 years ago. It was a big deal to me. I felt like a total failure! I’m over it though.
I’m not depressed but I have zero motivation or drive. I have motivated thoughts but cant seem to call them into action.
Not depressed really either just lack of focus and motivation and initiative when i have some motivation. Its to the point where it effects my energy level. The most ican do is exercise for a couple of hours. Jobs doing hard labor are not for me any more. Im hoping i can tolerate school when i go back
Depression and avolition are similar to me. But I get levels of depression. Sometimes it’s mild and I still can paint or read or go out but at other times my depression - when severe - stops me from doing anything
Uhhh for me when my depression prevented me from doing stuff it was because I was in such agonizing pain that even the most trivial things were extremely overwhelming to me and could (did) make me burst into tears. When it was negative symptoms it was more just like…there was no energy to do anything. No drive. I was on 0 gas. I wanted to do things but couldn’t because doing so took a MASSIVE amount of effort and I didn’t have the fuel to power that effort. There was no sadness or pain involved except perhaps being sad because I couldn’t do things. It is harder to explain.
I’ve lost my power to do- anything.
Seems it’s like a different sease, and I’m not the only one in this house that caught it either.
Depressing.
Maybe it’s that carbon minixude poisoning?
Feels like a slow death.
@Anna That’s exactly how I feel about it! That’s why my doc thought I was depressed, because I appeared upset about not being able to do things. But who wouldn’t be upset about that!
@Hadeda Interesting, that’s true there definitely are different levels of depression in terms of how much it impairs you. My worst depressive episode messed me up pretty badly, just stared at a wall all day with intermittent crying sessions
@Ayecoop I hear ya, I start school on Thursday. Only taking one class to keep it slow, hope it works out for the both of us
@Om_Sadasiva Interesting, which antidepressant did you get? Was it Wellbutrin?
@insidemind Definitely, I know what I want to do and I have a desire to do it but I can’t actually perform the act
@Leaf I have been losing weight, that’s another reason why my doc thinks im depressed. But idk to me it just feels like im so unmotivated id rather just not eat, but I still have an appetite I guess. But yeah I really do hate my depressive episodes it’s just that it feels really different to negative symptoms, like this time around it doesn’t feel like im depressed
