So, I’ve noticed that, for whatever reason, if for example I text someone, I have anxiety and sz symptoms that escalate until I get a response. This also happens if I call and they dont answer. And email. THEN while I’m waiting I have to fight the urge to keep texting and calling a million, give or take, times until they respond. I feel freaking nuts, and I’d say ocd but I have sz and don’t really know what true ocd is. Racing thoughts to start, anxiety follows, then the voices about god knows what its different every time, and then when they respond via call, email, or text message I get this huuuge feeling of relief. I am sure this has something to do with sz because this used to just be a small annoyance and now its been overly severe.
Before I started having symptoms this didn’t bother me like it does now. When it happens the only thing that sort of helps is if I start cleaning or cooking and leaving my phone in the bedroom while I go to the kitchen/living room to clean…or cook but I find I just start obsessing over this once I decide what food to make. Going on a walk doesn’t help I’m too busy thinking about whether not I’m being ignored (and hearing bad things about why they’re not responding). I feel its become its own symptom. I find that I can only reach out to a select few family and friends or I end up in what feels like a mini episode.
Do you have issues that are similar?
What I really need is what can I do or realize to make it stop? I get upset with myself for acting like this but I can’t control this stuff. Please, any response will be helpful.
Thanks everyone
Wow I relate. I just dont get symptomatic. For example I asked a guy who said we would get coffee when I asked him earlier to confirm 1pm at a certain coffee house. He took 2 1/2 hours to reply “sure”. I was anxious as hell and thinking i was being rejected but I didnt get symptoms. I was checking my phone every ten minutes and finally I was like “■■■■ it” and went to go take a nap and then i got a text responding affirmatively. I felt way better, I went from being anxious and disappointed to feeling upbeat and positive.
I try to just remind myself that I sometimes dont answer my phone. I dont touch my phone for like at least an hour and a half when I go to the gym, usually a full 2 hours including the drive to and from the gym, and that the person I contacted may be in a similar situation.
But still I am just really happy to know that I will be seeing him tomorrow. I just came out as bisexual and Ive been interested in guys for years so this is a great experience for me. I just ditched a female friend with benefits and dated girls last semester. It feels good to just accept myself and let myself do what I want.
Do you get the idea that they might be dead? Or have abandoned you? These are the reactions of a stranded child. I get them too. Mostly, the idea is that I’ve been forgotten by someone necessary to me.
Yeah like right now im trying to make plans with someone for the weekend and it took them an hour to say that they want to. I’m still waiting on a response to if Saturday works. I keep telling myself that they like me and want to hang out but this whole waiting thing is driving me up the walls!! I just say like u said maybe they’re busy or not near the phone or taking a nap or whatever. But I am so anxious for an answer! I just met him through a group and we get along really well so I know that everything is fine but I would appreciate an answer before my brain implodes! I keep thinking maybe I should call but I know I dont need to do that until tomorrow afternoon if I don’t get a response. I just keep saying ■■■■ it but before I know it I’m checking my phone for a reply. I just keep having to say ■■■■ it and try to not care its not that big a deal. Ugh its so annoying. And congrats on your new relationship with this person! I hope coffee goes well for you guys. Wish me luck I’m doin something similar Saturday
You guys wouldn’t make it as a doctor-because neither of you have any patience! (Sorry, old joke).
Really though, relax, take a deep breath and stop trying to force the issue.
You need to learn some patience before you alienate everyone around you, and drive yourself crazy in the process.
Patience can be learned, it’s not easy, but very rewarding when you do.
Sometimes it helps to state you’d like a response within a certain time to be able to plan an event, but you have to keep in mind that a lack of response isn’t about how people feel about you, but more likely they’re waiting to make sure the can give you an answer for certain.
I call and text so very few people that when they don’t answer me with in a certain amount of time I am sure they are hurt or kidnapped or something really bad has happened to them.
With my parents, I know they are in class so they can’t answer their phone. My Sis will also either be in class or on the pool deck and can’t answer her phone all the time. But after a certain point, I’m sure all is lost.
I am trying to calm down and I find that the call I’m waiting for ALWAYS comes when I decide to get in the bath. Something about bath’s make the phone ring.
@mortimermouse I think what you’re talking about is different. Everybody does that when it’s someone they like. He’s talking about it happening with all calls/texts. @mcxmac I don’t think it’s OCD unless you have some kind of ritual surrounding it, but it’s definitely anxiety. I think the reason cooking and cleaning works is because it’s a distraction. My old therapist taught me the distraction game for when my symptoms spike. You pick a category like animals and say one for each letter of the alphabet. Like A is for ant, B is for beetle, C is for cat, and on and on. When I can’t think straight I pick a category like cheeses or cereal and just name as many as I can, not going through each letter. I hope that helps. You can do a lot of distraction techniques like watching your favorite movie or TV show. Remember more stress more symptoms. It is a sz thing. For whatever reason this is causing you stress. Do you see a therapist? Talking about it with someone might help. Good luck to you.
So I talked to my therapist this morning about this issue. This is a reply to everyone but @mortimermouse u have the same problem so I figured I’d pop your name up here. She told me to think with my rational brain when I’m not anxious about texts/calls to write up a list of reasons I don’t answer people right away. My list contains things like I’m with someone else and don’t want to be rude, I’m busy doing work or cleaning etc, I don’t feel good and such like this. Then she said to come up with reasons why the other party might not answer: home work, school, job, with someone else (basically the same things as me).
I told her during an appointment that I was trying to avoid a girl at group because she is really dramatic, 4 years younger than me, and seems immature. So today she asked me is she a bad person etc and I said no. Big pause and it clicked, even if someone is ignoring me on purpose it doesnt mean that I’m annoying or a bad person.
So today I’m writing up lists so when it happens again I can remember the things that I thought about when I was being rational.
Thanks everybody for your responses!
Homework, school, job, cleaning, talking to someone else… I like this.
This list sounds a lot better then kidnapped, missing, unconscious and bleeding out, drowning, school shooting, psychotic break, hit by car… I too will have to remember these.
