Social interaction difficulties are perhaps my primary issue. In 60 years I have had less than a handful of friends. I am not diagnosed with ASD or NVLD but fit both to some extent, Though probably NVLD more than ASD.
I had my sister do The Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale-Revised (RAADS-R) on aspie tests http://aspietests.org/index.php as though she was me.
My mental health people put such difficulties down to paranoia and personality but the paranoia only kicked in as a reaction to negative peer responses to my social awkwardness.
Interaction is wearing for me too when I am at work. I cant wait to get the heck out of there because I feel so stressed knowing I have to interact with people
When I was younger I felt targeted, harassed and bullied and, in fact, was physically attacked on more than one occasion so I had serious anxiety and panic. I felt stared at and, like I said, targeted. Now that I am older, I feel like I fit in more although I still get anxious. When I was younger, though, my paranoia (rightful paranoia) about being targeted literally ruled my life. I worked graveyard to avoid people and had regular panic attacks. It sucked. Thank God itās better now.
I mean, this is normal, even normies feel like this. As long as you show up and do the job you are functioning, doesnāt matter how you feel. Seriously normies feel this way too, your feeling is totally normal.
I find older people easier to deal with. Younger people seem to have their own agenda and are very often untrustworthy.
Though there are those in their 40s who have had disastrous relationships but a high-paying job, so they often end up as complete narcissist.
I think most people (like me) only are expecting someone to acknowledge them with a proper greeting - Hi, hello, How are you doing, or a wave, looking at someone then a nod of the head, something, anything that confirms youāve seen them and respond at them, as long as it isnāt ānothingā.
Nothing is considered rudeā¦unless youāre a california neighbor, then itās the rule. sighā¦
Too much talk isnāt desirable either, especially when someone is tired, sick, in a hurry, or generally ānot up to parā.
Nothing makes me run fast the other direction as when I see a blabbermouth that sucks up my time and leaves me itchy.
I like it best when I see someone, say hello and wave, and then we both go on about our business.
Iām an old fart by the way, at the ripe old age of 52.
@Otto it is not good to make generalizations, there are young people who are fine,
it depends on who are the young ones you are talking about, young people are very diverse( as indeed is any age group).
O brother.
Here on the east coast if you try to say good morning to Anone you get a dirty look in the city.
Even if I tried to wave to the neighbors as I do my walk around the block they just ignore me. And thatās in the safe suburbs.
Maybe theyāre afraid to wake knowledge that crazy woman whoās had 1 too many ambulances at her door.
Only in California do they build houses practically on top of each other, the put up an 8 foot fence surrounding the front and back yard.
Iāve lived in my house for the last 24 years, and have no idea who my neighbors areā¦couldnāt recognize them to save my soul.
California is only good for the weather.
I wonder if thereās info online about how much eye contact is good. I think it would be good to find out whatās good , come up with a system and practice it .Sometimes I feel I have a little to much eye contact but I think itās usually just a feeling, but not having enough contact to me is worse because people feel that you are not interested in them or are on some drug. I would like to know what others think,on this site. I think you will know when you overdo the eye contact and can kind of make up for with a little less afterwards. But I think you would be better off overdoing the eye contact and just learn from it when people cut the conversation short. Than avoiding contact, I personally notice lots of MI people that do this ,so I make an attempt to keep good eye contact because I donāt want to enhance the stigma I have to deal with. Think it also screams ,I have no self confidence, even if itās not true. Sometimes when Iām really intreaged by the conversation I kinda overdo the eye contact, I make a point to play down the eye contact next time I see them. I think itās a very important thing that we all can work on. Gestures are really more important in communication than what we actually say. People will judge more harshly on things like this.
I struggle with social situations too. I also get a people hangover when at functions I tend to retreat to a room where I can be alone. Crowds overwhelm me. Sometimes I get panicky around a lot of people. Need to escape. Canāt make eye contact when I speak it distracts me. Prefer my own company or the company of one or two people like hubby or parents or a good friend.
Itās hard for me to interact with people, especially in the morning. Iām not a morning person at all. I try to listen and/or add on to whatās being said, but itās still hard at times. Iām more of an introvert myself.
