So they know where to kidnap me at?
Not very likely.
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One time in the nice private mental hospital, a doctor inquired about my well being. I told him I was distressed because I thought I had a thought-eating creature in my throat. Right back at me, he asked me to open my mouth so that he could look inside. Then, he said, “It is too far down for me to see anything.”
I think now that his behavior was patronizing.
I think the only one who has a file on you is your pdoc and maybe the police if you’ve been involved in crime.
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I have crazy thoughts too like my boyfriend is the devil and he can clone people through a machine and that he can slow down speed up time. This is only sometimes I think like that.
I think we szs crave attention more than normies and go to great lengths to get it. You could write a file on yourself for yourself.
Does my writing above about the time and clones sound delusional?
Yes, it does.
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Yes but I worry I’m not sza because in the past I treated mental illness as an experiment to see if I had it. So I disclosed symptoms that I had and didn’t have knowing the symptoms.
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@flowers20 it does sound delusional.
I had a hard time thinking about secret folders my pdoc had on me. I had them thoughts recurring for years. I thought they thought I was a malingerer. My community nurse got all my pdoc files and sat with me while I read through 10 large folders dating back 10 years. I had 2 - 2 hour sessions reading them and I couldn’t find anything about them thinking I’m a malingerer and that I had a genuine psychosis. This eased the delusion somewhat, it only comes back when I’m unwell now.
They keep a file on everyone. I know it’s an unpleasant thought, but they definitely will not kidnap you. Theyll only do that if youre julian assange or edward snowden. Unless youre a high profile person the most theyll do is send you targeted ads. There are ways you can get around this and i can tell you a few of them, but it’s not a life or death situation by any means.
No one wants to kidnap you. Thus, no file. You’re just an ordinary schizophrenic with a persistent delusion. You’re going to waste every day for the next ten years worrying about something that will never happen, because it’s impossible in so many ways.
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I am sure they have a file on me. When I was younger and stupider, I was semi-involved with some outfits like Earth First! that the Gov’t/Big Business REALLY don’t like, and I guarantee that gets me a nice shiny file in Quantico or wherever.
For instance, that post gets me another red check mark. 
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