Do you usually prioritize yourself or the others? I really wonder what we should do.
Personally, I’m used to prioritize the others a lot over myself. For example, at my job, if someone needs help and I have no urgent things to do, I will immediately stop my work and go see the person right away and do everything I can to help him/her the more I can.
At the opposite, I was needing help from someone today who has an expertise that I don’t have, and the person kept saying to me during all the day that she was not forgetting me and that she would come to see me before the end of the day, and she finally never came. So I could say that this person prioritize a lot more herself than the others and she is known to do that by the way. Maybe she’s right, I don’t know…
It seems to me that we should help the others but if you are prioritizing them too much, aren’t you forgetting about yourself?
I have to help myself first, if I’m to be able to help others.
If others need help I help. Pretty simple.
I’ve also been known to neglect myself to help others, because I have learned to live without a lot of things, not by choice.
I try to never ask for help unless I’ve exhausted all efforts on my part. My parents raised me to never ask others to do for me that which I can do with my own two hands.
You are right. I never ask for help unless I see that I really cannot find the solution and that it as been a long time since I’m searching and when I consider that the situation is not productive for the company. It’s better to find the solution by yourself because it makes you learn a lot of competences.
Don’t get me wrong, asking for help is okay, and it’s nice if you can get it, but I wouldn’t’ want to rely on others for things I can figure out myself.
You also have to realize, many people are stingy with information because they are afraid you’ll end up better than them.
Steer clear of these folks, because their whole self worth revolves around them being better than you, and will think nothing of intentionally misleading you to keep you below them.
Knowledge is best shared, if someone knows you need help, they should, especially if it saves everyone time and money, working together you can become the best team, but only when folks give and take equally.
Those that only take have less value, that’s why it’s important to have knowledge to give.
We are working in a kind of software development that is called “Agile”. And in Agile development we are working as a team and everybody must help others if needed because if someone is stuck on a problem, it’s the entire team and even the company that suffer from it because, at that moment, it’s taking us more time to create the software.
Also we usually work with colleagues that have a wide variety of competence. Everyone has its own. It’s impossible to be expert in everything. So you always need help from people who have competences that you don’t have.
So the person who didn’t came to help me was violating the Agile development principles because the problem of the client has not been solved as a result.
Originally, it was my manager who told me to ask her help to take profit of her expertise for the project, it was even not me who decided to ask her.
I said to her that it was the manager who was wanting it and that it was needed for before the end of the day.
She sent me a message to tell me that she didn’t forget me and that she will find time before the end of the day. But she didn’t come.
It is for an urgent problem. I told her. But I can’t force herself.
I know her. When you ask her help, she doesn’t put so much effort into it and she often don’t even try. I think she cares only about herself. My other colleagues are not like that at all.