Schizophrenia.com

Do you guys have friends

Personally I have no friends, haven’t had a friend in about 15 years. How would you suggest I make a friend?

Personally I don’t know how to turn a social contact into a friend. You know when you talk to someone and get on with them, how do I turn that into a friendship?

I have a few good friends. One is 20 years older than me. Another is 50 years older than me.

Don’t try too hard to make friends. Friendship is something that grows on you. If you feel comfortable with someone, you can ask him or her to join you for a friendly dinner or some activity. The more things you do togeather, the more tight friends you will be. But friendship does not happen over night. It grows. Like a plant.

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No friends here. 20 characters.

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I write to people who were friends in my past. I also have a friend that I see once a year - we have lunch together. There are the casual friends at the gym and the close friends here in the house, but not too close. My sister is also important to me in connecting with my past.

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Not a lot of friends, no. Though I don’t want a lot of friends either.

I have people I consider acquaintances who call me a friend. I made a friend over the last several years who I became very close to I guess but he moved back down south six months ago or so and his phones been off for about a month. I don’t know if he’s in a hospital or treatment program or smoking crack again or what. He’s got schizophrenia too, simply one of the things we shared.

That was my first male friend in a very, very long time. Most of my friends in my 20’s, if I had anyone to call a friend that is, were women. I’ve gone long periods of time without any friends, I consider myself a bit of a loner so solitude is my preference. But I’ve had many friends over the course of my life. These days I’m content to let them come and go without remorse.

I don’t know, good question, how do you go about making friends? I’m not very easy to get to know and don’t have an easy time making friends at all. I don’t know, for me it just seems to happen every great while, I meet someone I can develop a report with and feel good spending time with and it just seems to go from there.

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I have my SO and one close friend who I get to see only once a year and talk to only occasionally. I have no advice for ya, I’m pretty lonely too.

Although I started volunteering at a local org. so I see a group of people regularly now. I wouldn’t say that I’m friends with them, just friendly. Its nice to see them every other week and talk.

i have my daughter and son in-law…but that is all…no other friends

I have two REALLY close friends. And a few that are also close and know everything about me. My best friend, Michael, and I have been friends for 16 years now. And still going strong.

It’s difficult for me to make friends in person. So I signed up for a few social apps and match.com.

I’ve made a few really good friends there. Two have been my friends for almost 2 years now. It’s MUCH easier for me to make friends online. I don’t have to feel pressured or on-the-spot in conversation or read social ques.

And I keep in touch with my friends by texting throughout the week, then we try to meet up in person for coffee or lunch on the weekends.

I would say give meeting friends online a try. And get to know them for a while and build rapport, via texting or phone, before meeting.

Blessings,

Anthony

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I have about half a dozen people I consider close friends. A number more who are just friends. A number of friends I acquired through connection to this site.

One of the easier ways to make friends is to Skype with people. It is much easier to become familiar with someone if you can see them and talk to them. Skype is also much less stressful than real-life contact. Give it a try.

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My brother’s current SO, and his ex wife befriended me. An old friend/former mental health worker who said she wouldn’t abandon me 40 years ago, and hasn’t…email distance now. My two brothers who know me + I know them better than anybody. How can you not appreciate someone who used to have claw fights with you? Or had a stack of Playboys in his closet that you snuck into? Friends, I don’t know.

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No friends. Was told chicken little should be my friend since I act just like him/her. :chicken: :hatching_chick: :baby_chick:

I have had a friend come back into my life now that I’m not drinking and being abusive.

I’m trying to learn how to make new friends. I have met people in some of my classes who will ask to just hang out. I know my Aunt makes friends through her writers group.

If your in a church, you might see people more then once there too and as you get to know them… develop up to coffee or other common gatherings.

That’s my guess.

I haven’t had a close friend in a few years now. I’m not very outgoing or talkative and never have had many friends, usually just one or two close ones. I got no personal family either and feel low like I have nothing to offer people. It all gets pretty lonely and depressing and also contributes to my psychosis and neorosis.

preface to what I am going to say- I am in complete remission on medication, appear healthy and function very highly. I have only been like this for a year, I was not myself for almost two years from 18 1/2 to 20 1/2. I got a lot better by 20 1/2 though. That’s when I began dating people a lot.

I suggest asking a therapist.

It involves having things to talk about, and doing well is obvious by the things you talk about- for example, I met a guy online - well two guys online who live out of town. One I have met in person, he lives out of town and I communicated very well with him for a month and a half then he came to visit. We are sort of dating but not official. How on Earth that happened was through a mutual attraction, similar interests and effective communication. He knows about my diagnosis and recovery and also knows other things about me. I am talking to a different guy who lives out of town too, he wants to meet in a while but to talk and skype first. I have successfully dated other people who live in town, but to illustrate my point I am referring to the long-distance people.

You have to just be happy to talk to them. Have good things to report, do well in an occupation, whether its work, student, volunteer worker, whatever, something good to say is where I go from. I meet people and ask them how it’s going, can honestly say that I am doing well, and then ask them what they do, then tell them that I am a student. Conversations have gone all over the place from there. If I am interested in dating someone, I ask them if they would like to get a coffee sometime. It’s that simple. Then I get a yes or no, if yes then I ask for their phone number. If I am just looking for friendship, I often just make small talk and ask them if they would like to hangout, usually I bring them around my friends, I say something like “Hey some friends of mine are getting together this weekend, you wanna come?” and then if they say yes, I actually do get my existing friends together and invite the new person.

That is how I make social connections. Online dating is different, people dont have to reply, some do with success, I have went on dates with people online and even became friends with benefits with a girl I met online, hell a guy from another town is coming to visit me for the second time on Thursday and we met online. I just message everyone “Hey, how’s it going?” and always say that I am doing well, not good. That’s a grammatical error and people who went to college know that I do well, superman does good.

You will get used to it. I have been texting for hours a night with a really cute and nice guy who lives in another town, for a week we’ve been talking now, we talked about meeting in person and he wants to talk on skype for a week then meet.

Now there is a catch- I am attractive, I am a 5ft7in 180lb bodybuilder. I am clean shaven when I am around people I want to look good for and keep my hair buzzed very short, military style. I was also very popular in high school when the illness struck me, so I just had to rebuild social skills, not make them from scratch. Whenever I am at a bar or club, at a restaurant, at a party, whatever, there is only one person there who is as nearly as muscular, ever, at all, and usually never anyone more built than I am. I stand out from a crowd.

I drink protein shakes and tons of water and eat lot. Being clinically overweight with a 29 inch waist doesnt happen on accident. Go look for my videos of me training in the creativity section, I was a powerlifter for a couple years and ■■■■ my pants training, tore a lower abdomen, got dizzy and almost fainted, ect. I lifted over three times my weight six times once. I am talking serious effort. I did powerlifting to prove to myself that I can do what I put my mind to, and it helped me recover from schizophrenia. But that sport is bad for you, it’s a great way to get hurt. I transferred my willpower from the gym into other areas of my life. Now I am bodybuilding, which is a lot easier.

I have a lot of friends. It takes time and effort to make friends or get dates. Just like with lifting weights, you have to fail to succeed, you need to get rejected in order to get the courage up to approach more people. In lifting weights, if you have to drop the weight, it is called failure, but it means that your muscles were worked to their maximum effort and will get stronger because of it.

I hope that helped. It takes baby steps. Like ask people what their names are and introduce yourself. I went for a really attractive girl when I wasnt fully recovered and probably looked like an idiot, I had no business doing that. She cancelled the coffee date…twice…yeah.

And try not to tell people you have schizophrenia unless they seem like they already like you enough or if they are psychology students. Or if they are schizophrenic themselves. Everyone in the honors psych program at my school knows me as the recovered schizophrenic. I still had sex with a fellow student in the program. Multiple times. Ha.

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I have two best friends who know my diagnosis. But both of them are very busy recent years as the mother of two little kids and hard worker as well. I refrained myself from demanding company of my friends. So mostly I called my two sisters when I was bored and lonely.

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I have no friends and it is difficult. I lost all of my friends I had when I got sick. I’m trying to find ways to reconnect with people and so far it has been unsuccessful. I’m even more introverted than I used to be. I’m so introverted now I might implode. I don’t really know how to go about it either. I miss the hey day of chat rooms when you could just find common ground with strangers. It was sort of like instant friend in a can.

The loneliness has helped me appreciate the importance of human interaction however. I think if I have to, I can spend the rest of my life alone. I am a little worried I’ll become one of those people with fifty cats though.

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" what do you think fluffy bunny, do we have friends !?! "
take care

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just be interested in them and what they have to say, that is what friendship is all about, ask them how they are and what they have been doing, say hello and smile when you see them maybe even crack the odd joke :slight_smile: thats friendship, i had some friends at college altho they were quite young but i got on with them, you can find people in lots of places like fitness classes and college courses or even a church or something lots of places

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Well, I joined this forum to get more insight about the illness. I don’t have any illness myself but had a partner who was diagnosed with SZ
I left because of his violent behaviour. I did not leave because he has sz (meaning I don’t care about the voices, potential strange behaviour ect) Violence and abuse however, I do not accept.
I’ve already spoken to many of you lovely people on here who provided much needed insight. So my guess is not to be afraid to make any friends. It’s really not as bad as a stigma as some think and by explaining the symptoms will help people understand and care. Of course there will be always ignorant people, but then we all have to deal with those (morons) right? :slight_smile:

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