I feel like I was a V12 engine and now with sz I am a V4 engine. Everything was easier before sz and I was very good in everything, school, social life, work n money, etc This sz is bs.
I cant handle any stress anymore since I got sz.
I’m with you. I used to be able to handle a high-pressure job in software design. Now it’s a 50/50 bet whether I even take a shower
I always tell myself, use it or lose it. I force myself to practice guitar, for example. But some of my zest for life has definitely been drained
Same for me, even taking a shower is too hard now. I used to shower everyday sometimes twice a day before sz. Now I shower once a week and its difficult.
I wish it were neither of us, but I’m glad it’s not just me
My life was worse before
Yea its possible as thers other stuff as bad as sz or worse, like street drugs and other addictions. I always stayed away from those.
You did well too.
I got kicked out of middle school, and when I started high school, literally on my first day I joined the older kids group and smoked pot. From age 11 to 18 it was not great.
Its great now that you got out of it. I am sure it improved your life a lot.
Yeah, I went from a V12 to a V4, but to continue your analogy the meds I take were like upgrading my V4 with a turbo charger, I feel better with them but not as good as before sz hit me.
I try to not complain about sz but it follows me everywhere in my life and sometimes its too much.
To be fair SZ was really bad when psychoses was at its height, but I am lucky that the meds helped a lot. Took a long time to get one that didn’t riddle me with side effects, but Amisulpride seems to have done the trick for 3 years.
Took 6/7 switches to find it, but we got there. My old pdoc knew me from when I was 16. He retired 2 years ago, but he was willing to get me on the right med.
I am sure many others would have refused if I had asked
What I stare at now is an illness, but before it was drugs, gangs, paedophilic ass holes and prison
At least now I am relatively free, not an addict, educated and working.
Night and day.
Life can get real shitty with the wrong people at your side
Now I only really trust my family, as they stuck by me through the worst of everything
I still think you are gifted, you might not be as gifted as you were before…but I still think you are gifted.
Feels like fate or destiny that I have schizophrenia. Don’t even know or remember what it’s like to exist without having schizophrenia. Just accept the cards I’ve been dealt with.
I’m a more loving and spiritual person because of what I’ve went through.
I’m dumber but I have more soul and spirit now.
Yes, if you want to phrase it like that. It’s more like the after effects of psychosis downgraded me. I felt better, even though I was insane, while I was in psychosis. It’s actually since I’ve been medicated, gained 70 lbs, got diabetes and lost all my energy that I’ve really felt downgraded. Part of it I think is getting too use to the medication slowing you down…just sitting around all the time makes you even lazier than the medication and sz alone. That’s why I’m trying to get out and exercise more. Hoping it will make me feel better and hoping to reverse my diabetes. But I get so tired anymore. It’s only 3pm and I feel like taking a nap already…arrrgh
Yea I take naps sometimes after 3pm since increasing my risperdal dose to 6mg.
I was similar before I got sz. I was the fastest runner in my elementary school. I was in the cool group in high school. I was very gifted in soccer. The coach for the university near where Iived asked me if I wanted to play for his team, when I was around 14 years old. I think I would have been conceited if I didn’t get sz.
I was worse before schizophrenia, even worse during my peak years of psychosis. Now I feel more wholesome than I ever did by far not even close
I’m distracted more; it takes longer to make decisions and the anxiety is bad.
I know it changed me as a person, but I’m not sure if I’m less of a person than other people.
Functionally I would agree, that I can function less than someone who isn’t suffering from schizoaffective / schizophrenia.
Maybe a bit in some areas, but I’ve found others where I’ve upgraded myself and I’m winning overall.