I’m like a turtle moves fast but thinks slow. 
Real ‘genius’ as opposed to just being very intelligent, requires a level of creativity that I don’t have.
Bruce Charlton talks of the endogenous personality.
Paul Cooijmans talks of the associative horizon
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Could you elaborate on why to resist theory of mind? If you’re right isn’t that a good thing. I guess it could go really sour if you’re wrong.
Ya I do. I also have mental pain and anxiety and a thought disorder I presume.
I would like to be a white collar worker or have an education and career like most folks and excel beyond the middle class-ish I grew up in. I don’t come from wealth or education or royalty or anything. I’m an outlier.
I would like to teach myself to program and make money that way working on programs and making money off them, but that seems out of touch and not real. I barely have time and energy and focus. I drink 10 monsters a day and I’m just leveling out in emotion and energy.
My family and people that really know me think I have grandiose ambitions or delusions of being the next Warren Buffet or Bill Gates or something. It pisses me off because I can see my true potentional or what I had before I got sick.
I often feel stupid… when I was younger I was called stupid a lot. I didn’t have much interest in things and I kind of was lost in my head most of the time… I am good at school stuff but I feel like I know little to nothing about things… and can’t really have a proper conversation.
I have no idea why you should do so. It runs contrary to what the vast majority of experts believe. There’s a coldness to his personality that’s quite disturbing and somewhat devoid of humanity.
Good company. Lord Byron. He could destroy a room in 15 minutes.
If things were different, I would have loved to been a computer engineer or computer science major…looking back 10 years later. EE is too physical lol.
Computer science is like applied math and computer engineers can do really cool things and build and design computer systems.
If I didn’t have the schizophrenic experience, I would have loved to been in the medical field as a doctor or surgeon…maybe even a pilot or something.
Hell, I probably would have enjoyed law school too, but would prefer corporate law or something instead of being in the courts.
All suspicions point to my IQ being 120s but I preform way below that and sometimes underestimate the power of 120, which is pretty high. I think when you get to 140, 150,160+ iq, you start inventing math in your head and becoming the likes of Albert Einstein and stuff.
I would have probably been a lawyer. I’m glad that passed me by. The effort does not equal the return. I can’t imagine reading a boring ass law text book. It sounds like torture. My advice to you is something’s pass us by for a reason. That’s a good thing and it’s been proven in my life.
I’m pretty sure coding is not out of reach. I will say it’s better to have no ambitions. It’s very liberating. I come up with mediocre ideas definitely not to the level of a billionaire.
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Nice. But can you beat my grown daughter in the game Blink. The most excellent eye /hand coordination I’ve ever seen.
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If I could do it over I’d be an engineer or go to tech school. I definitely wouldn’t have gotten a piece of paper. But what does replaying fake scenarios in your head do? Nothing. It’s a fruitless endeavor. I look at the positives. I’ve been told my liberal arts degree expanded my critical thinking. It definitely made me a better writer. Live with no regrets!
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Very true and valid statement.
I guess I am fantasy prone and always wanted a college education…
I don’t think college is for me anymore and it costs a lot of money and my intelligence declined so much it feels like dementia or did early on.
The meds interfere with my intelligence focus and creativity.
I view college as a way to get a better job and career and make more money although it’s not the only way – sometimes I find it the path to least resistance though.
I honestly obsess that something happened to me in college – something very traumatic here-- and am sort of hesistant or scared or upset to go back to college.
I found a local school that is affordable that has computer science and computer engineering but the drive itself would tire me out. I rather go to a private school but am too poor and have no help. I’m only interested in STEM. Math was too hard for me and I feel like starting over and switching majors to CS/CE would be too long and hard.
My biggest gripe with life or problem is I think I’m living in the matrix on repeat since 2010ish. I keep waking up as a schizophrenic back in time. Sort of like ground hog day the movie among other shows and movies…
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Where were your chances before schizophrenia?
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I was high functioning and normal before schizophrenia but I had poorish social skills. That’s about it. Probably a bit entitled and narcissistic tbh.
What do you write?
I’ve done okay for myself, little lotta bit of everything.
I’m going to ease your mind. It goes against everything you’ve ever been taught and what most people think. A college education is not worth it. You will learn tenfold more by reading books. The fact that you can’t go is actually a blessing in disguise. That’s especially true if it upsets you. It’s a win-win.
As far as waking up in a matrix that’s gotta be tough. I’d say set something near your bed every night. If it’s in that same spot in the morning you’re not in a matrix. Why the ■■■■ would something be in the same spot if you’re waking up in a Matrix?
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Ya. My brother opposses education. My step-brother makes more than most folks and never went to school.
Some people are naturally gifted and would succeed without college or just have learning challenges or what not. Someone getting accepted to Harvard would probably do better or just as well not going there. Think Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg…
Anyways, my point is I got real sick in college in 2011 and started thinking life wasn’t real and couldn’t stop obsessing about it that we lived in the matrix or a computer program/simulation. Now we have dozens of top academics and billionaires talking about it like Elon Musk and Nick Bostrom. I remember living past lives in the matrix like iterations or past loops. I wake up backwards in time in different positions on planet earth with minute different outcomes and events. That’s the proof or meaning.
I remember seeing it on Fox News and CNN in the future in a different past life that they found out or highly speculated we lived in the matrix somehting about lattice gauge theory and nuclear physics and possibly plank scale. (I could be making the last bit up via faulty memory though). I felt vindicated when my delusion became true. That we live in a fake, artifical dreamworld.
I lived billions of lives and interacted with aliens that confirmed said delusions. I even escaped the matrix and ended up in another reality communicating with people inside the simulation.
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I’m a little slow at making conversation so I don’t feel very smart. I can function pretty good as an engineer though. I want to learn more programming. I want to see if I can make 1000000 in one year starting a programming business. I took an iq test after pulling an all nighter once I was wondering if I could do a little better after some sleep. I was also hoping for about 120 would be nice to have.
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I think we live in a matrix too. The problem is when you obsess over it. Your life definitely sounds interesting. I believe you.
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Gov. sold lives to all Hollywood, mass media and corporations and military.