I relive just about every conversation I’ve had and beat myself up over saying stupid things or weird things or interrupting people. Makes me hate being me. Makes me feel awful.
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Im the same way. Why cant i just be normal 
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I think people are full of sin, It’s nornal at some point in life to realize it, some seek God and find piece. Some ignore it and eventually grow callace to it. Some compare themselves to Hitler to feel better. Some people just decide they are just good. But sounds like you’re at a crossroads. I think the sz kinda makes it worse though ,forced me to seek a solution. Decided to seek God for help.