I do. Specially right now. I dont know why i doubt. Its clear i see things that arent there. And cant last 3 days without ap.
Maybe its cause i feel really good at the moment. But its changes.
2 Likes
I often doubt I have sz even when I’m symptomatic. I don’t know why. Sometimes I think about how obvious it is. But I don’t know. I still often doubt it.
I sometimes wonder if I totally just invented the voices and stuff because there’ll be a good day where they seem to disappear until I notice they disappeared and then they start up again. But then I remember my childhood being littered with me having a bad grip on reality and decided I’m just being paranoid.
2 Likes
I used to. I learned to accept it. However, I do have times where I doubt it. It’s only natural.
I didn’t think I had it the first six years I was diagnosed but now I know that I always had it, do have it but don’t want it.
I read about it before it hit. I had it all the time.
I will go in denial mode from time to time.
Then I will realize I have it.
It goes back and forth like this.
no offense but I dont see how you guys doubt it. I know for sure i got it. all i have to do is read my medical report from my admission and say holy cow
It’s real easy to doubt it @unique. You just believe your delusions and think everybody is out to get you. At least that’s how it was for me.
1 Like
Sometimes I doubt that I have schizophrenia. It’s not the lack of symptoms but the prevalence of them. No meds seem to work this time around and it feels like something is psychically screwing around with my mind. The voices reinforce this. The other day I was looking out the side window of the car and they told me that a sports car was in front of us. I looked up and it was true. This type of thing happens every once in a while and it really screws with my head and my ability to believe it’s not real.
I never doubt it. I suffered for too many years.
1 Like
ohhhh i get it that makes more sense now thank you
1 Like
Yeah. I only have positive symptoms. I thought I had negative but they went away when I got my sleep regulated and started narcolepsy treatment, meaning they were sleep-issue related symptoms, not negatives. Also, my positive symptoms are directly correlated to how much sleep I get. 11 hours regularly and I have no noticeable symptoms whatsoever, even while under stress. 8-9 hours I get mild symptoms regularly that flare up in stressful situations. Below that it starts to get worse and worse, with 3-5 hours or less I end up getting major episodes. By regulating my sleep I have not had a major psychotic episode in 3 years now, and I was only on antipsychotics for brief periods of time within that span. This is just very abnormal for the disorder.
I believe that my psychosis stems from my brain’s abnormal sleep processes. I feel my circadian rhythm is very long/extended, which means I need longer periods of sleep to be properly rested, and explains why I fall asleep far later than the average person. Severe/chronic sleep deprivation can result in all the symptoms of psychosis I have experienced, and would also explain my history of very vivid and lucid dreams as since I never would get enough R.E.M. in my artificially shortened sleep cycle my brain was then endlessly playing catch up and trying to make up that debt. (Note we are also more likely to remember our dreams in R.E.M., which would also explain why I remember nearly all of my dreams so well)
Unfortunately, there is currently pretty much nothing I can do about this. A person can alter their circadian rhythm by a couple hours or so without causing significant issue but further than that and there’s going to be complications. Also, I do not have any way to shorten my circadian cycle so even when I take sleep meds to get myself to bed on time, I am still being chronically sleep deprived when sleeping under 11 hours and will be at risk for psychosis. Getting 11 hours regularly and following my natural circadian rhythm is impossible with my current life responsibilities.
I strongly suspect that if I can get an overnight shift once becoming a nurse, all of my mental health (excepting the ptsd I developed from my psychotic experiences) and sleep issues will disappear for good. I wonder how many other people are like me.
My voices for the past close to 20 years have told me I’m psychic. They know stuff about me no one but me knows (Obviously because they’re me) but they used to trip me up all the time.
I still sometimes get in funks where I think all my neighbors are talking about me every night, but it’s not as bad as it used to be, and while I’m still paranoid, I just care less if other people talk about me, so it’s easier to realize eventually that it’s symptoms, and not people actually talking about me 24/7.
The illness is a pain in the butt. It will use any trick it can to make you think the delusions are real. The one year before I started recovering, I spent the whole year thinking I was in a secret society of psychics and that we were going to take over the world.
When your AP’s work it seems kind of silly, but at the time it seemed so real. Hang in there, OP.
This topic was automatically closed 14 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.