I sleep quite well after taking my evening meds, but sometimes I can not sleep and so I stay awake.
Hello, voices, getting worse. Over the last few years, the voices I hear went from a mans voice calling my name to a man and/or a women’s voice. And now, it’s the voices often calling my name to whispers that don’t stop. I hear the whispering for long periods of time, especially when I’m in my room resting. It scares the hell out of me. I don’t know if it’s real or not. Also, hallucinations are becoming much more frequent. Yesterday, I kept feeling like something was on my legs and felt like I was being bit, such as a mosquito feels when it bites. Then I got up off my bed, threw the covers back and I saw bugs, lots of them. But…I started to move my bedding, I was taking my hand and wiping it across where I was seeing the bugs. And nothing, but I saw them, black, and they moved fast. This is the first time I had this problem this bad. I’ve always had hallucinations but not this bad.
They were fast, I felt like I was being bit, but I wasn’t. This is the first time a hallucination caused me to feel the effects of that hallucination. I started to weep because of how bad it was and when I realized it was not real. I slumped on my bed, thinking to myself, how far am I going to plunge into darkness, hallucinations, and fear. I already have awful fear from people who pint cameras at me and being followed, now this. I think things are intensifying, I think that is why I stay in my room all day and night. I have not gone anywhere in over a week on my own. I’m afraid, I’m worried, I’m devastated. I just want my life back, but in can’t reach it. I was hit in the head years ago in a bad accident, when I was a boy. I was 6. A truck ran a red light and hit me in the cross walk. It knocked me out. I woke up in the hospital. I don’t even know how long I was there. But I’m almost sure that is when I started having issues, back then, I didn’t think about it, but I cannot help but wonder, if I wasn’t hit, how might my life be different. Then in 2001, I was hit by a drunk driver. I still don’t know if it was planned or a genuine accident. I hear footsteps out my window everyday, especially at night. I’m afraid… Of everything.
Hi Myfate~
Try using a fan at night-it`s great for white noise, and
blocks other sounds.
What kind of meds are you on?
My voices used to make it very hard to sleep and I was hearing my name called and all the other things I would hear.
I’ve tried putting up a fan, that worked for some of it. I’ve put my Ipod on timer in the Ipod doc… that worked a bit too.
I’m having an easier time ignoring my voices so I’m getting to sleep better lately.
I never had this problem. My friend CP says this is really the only time he hears voices anymore, at night when he’s trying to get to sleep.
I always had a difficult time getting to sleep even without hearing voices but the past several years since I recovered I’ve been on a normal sleep schedule and will fall right to sleep, something new for me. It’s just like as the symptoms subsided everything else just stabilized as well.
Now if only I could put an end to these crack cocaine dreams…I was never even a drug addict and I have weekly crack cocaine dreams. Last night it was about being in some apartment full of the stuff but every time I picked up a rock it would disappear right out of my fingers…
TO be honest, I feel that my relationship with God and the spirit world is what turned the darkness to light. I have callings, I might have a whisper of a thought that feels foreign, but I know where it comes from. I do not listen to angry music. I have pure thoughts and good intentions. I am in touch with the primal and intuitive nature of my own self and soul. I know God exists. I pray with faith as though I have received an answer, and the answers come with faith.
But faith is not enough, there also is the act of being present and mindful of what we do. Despite how many times an ignorant person with ill intentions attempts to uproot me, I will spring back to life. Because what is within me is eternal, and cannot be taken by any sort of cruel magic or mind control, even when in America we are conditioned to be driven by a false sense of accomplishment, while people who can spy on us at will like they did to Martin Luther King Jr., JFK, Princess Diana, and all the intelligent people who drove our country forward instead of a nose dive into corruption and a speedy extinction.
I do not consider a hallucination a sign of insanity or madness. Think about all the ancient peoples who used hallucinations as a way to reach beyond cultural borders, who connected to the spirit world to find answers. The ritual of communion in Christian churches is also a sort of ecstatic experience that people use to commune to God. Lighting candles is a way to commune with God. Prayer is a way to commune with God and God’s divine intelligences.
Reason is a gift. Wisdom is earned. Wisdom is personal. You can choose what you believe, it’s a synthesis of what we were taught growing up and what we experienced singularly or what we observed others experience.
The idea of schizophrenia has been painted on the door of a future political prison. One in which no mind will enter nor escape.
I have been doing that, using things to create “white noise”. It works some of the times. The whispering, I can’t get rid of it, the footsteps I hear outside my window, they too never go away. I literally become so worked up, it makes me sick and extremely dizzy. Just last night, I thought I heard steps, I quickly jumped up to peer out the window to no avail. It’s running my life, it’s why I take massive amounts of unisom. I hate how I feel, I’m constantly afraid, I put things against my door so it won’t open, yet… I still hear them. They, the sounds, are very real to me. I want it to stop so much I literally pray for death.
Thank you for sharing, life is hard enough without the effects of SZ. At this stage in my life, SZ has a firm grasp on me, I’m wearing out… Praying for an end or escape.
i hope your doctor can prescribe something for you
that will silence or calm all those noises for you…
sometimes yes but then if it’s the weekend i just pop a seoquel and i’m out like a light. xxx