I had it today in fact… I was raging against my mom, with the false belief probably that she wants to oppress me, I got excited from this and I could only place in her house… my emotions were at their high, but I ended up being all shaky and just badly feeling…
I am worried about excitements like this… I should probably pull out of my head, that my mom is only authoritarian to me, cause it’s not even true I think, isn’t it?
I hope I wont get excited like this again… I try to “revive” myself like this too tbh, but we need calm mostly I think…
This wont happen often again, isn’t it? Being excited by my false ideas in my head and just being able only to pace??? Hmmm…
I snapped at my father quite a bit today.
I was in a real shitty mood.
Very irritable.
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Me too, but were you excited too? I couldn’t stop pacing… I hope it wont get often…
Don5 feel bad about it, ya know…
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Without meds I rage and get violent with knives.
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On meds my anger is much less, not rage. I am not violent. I just yell sometimes with my parents and brothers.
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I got rage today… my mom keeps saying, that my emotions are still a wealth in a way, but they hurt me too still… I also have 10 different states in a day, so I cant take a med for everyone of them… itll be a mess, not knowing what they help and what they harm…
when i’m not on my meds i get really angry with everybody cause the voices keep telling me to do stuffs and it pisses me off.
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