Did sz/psychosis destroyed your life?

It had definitely ruined my life. I’m no longer the same person. I use to be outgoing and the center of the party. Especially when I was drunk or high. But now I never want to be around people I’m always fighting my head to just get out of bed. People don’t even want to be around me anymore it just all sucks!

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Yes, it destroyed my life, too.

I think back to how my internal worldas before sz. The intricacy of my emotions. Sz hit me like an atomic bomb, after that there was just barren wasteland, not even fertile soil or plants for fire to remain burning.

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It totally destroyed my life.

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I had paranoia and delusions in late 2012, I thought the Mayan Prophecy was 100% correct. I apologized to everyone in my life that I thought i had hurt… then 12/21/12 came and nothing happened. In mid 2013 I had my psychotic break, and I made the conscious decision to admit myself into a hospital. I began my journey through Hell, as I was given Seroquel and I collapsed several times upon standing due to orthostatic hypotension, and I said “Why God, why?”

I did not think i was ever going to be right again, it was torture.

I was still smoking cannabis at the time to keep me calm but I was really just burying the pain of schizoaffective disorder, SAD. I made it through graduate school, by the skin of my teeth, no pun intended, and came home and met a new friend called cocaine. I was again burying the pain suffering and torture that I was going through, and being intoxicated made me feel normal again.

Then I had a break through/breakdown in summer 2017, I stopped all illicit drug use 6/25/17 got on Latuda and Lithium, and my God people, my brain came back. I had lost my mind and I found it! It took me from Fall 2012 - Fall 2017 to get back to what I call normal, you just have to:

Cease all illicit drug use
Cease alcohol use for a time period
Talk to Psychologist
Talk to Psychiatrist
Take multivitamins, try to exercise, make healthy decisions, eliminate variables in your life like Facebook and Twitter; you do not need these things.

Answer to your original question: YOU CAN RECOVER YES INDEED, I AM LIVING PROOF

When I have time, I will write an autobiography and give copies to people in need of help, to show them that no matter how hard life is, no matter how good of an idea suicide may seem at some point, no matter what you are going through, I truly believe that you are only given, in life, what you are able to handle.

God bless you all who are suffering, and I hope this helps.

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Has the psychiatrist also spoken to you about the possibility of full recovery?

I just think it can not be done anymore.

Like one of the 3 of them or something…

I got my 30s-mid 40s… and that’s life #2… It’s looking like it’ll be better than my pre-psychosis days.

then there is the late age half of things… coffee and books… I’m just hoping I get a good home along the way… it’s about all I need to die a happy old man.

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The first 5 years were the worst for me. I had 2 psychosis’ and 2 hospitalizations. My mom forced me to get a job as soon as I got out of the hospital. It was extremely difficult I had to relearn how to communicate with people. Having a job helped and I learned how to hide my illness. Along with working came a lot of responsibility that I couldn’t handle. Mentally I broke down and couldn’t take the pressure. People around me didn’t understand what I was dealing with. For all outward appearances I seemed normal to them. I was just good at hiding my illness.

Schizophrenia robbed me of a normal life. I can drive and function to a degree but I have a difficult time with relationships and getting along with people. I’ve had schizophrenia for 20 years I’m 41 now. I had severe hallucinations when I first got sick. I haven’t heard voices in a long time but I still get minor hallucinations once in a while. My mind plays tricks on me a lot.

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What did you do when the job you had didn’t work out?

I had one psychosis 3 years ago and still get my degree. But after a year “recovery” i gave up hope. It just doesn’t get any better than this… I function, work 4 days a week en pay by bills but. but that’s it.

I just think that there is no improvement anymore.

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I tried working for 10 years. I had 5 jobs but kept getting fired. Getting the jobs were easy. I was good at selling myself but my mental state with stress and medication was my undoing. I had a hard time waking up and I was a danger on the road. One morning I was running late and almost ran over some school kids.

I had a total breakdown and didn’t know what to do at first. I was out of work for 6 months. I applied for disability. It took 6 years for me to win my case. I had a mountain of documents going all the way back to 3rd grade showing I had severe psychological issues. The first social security judge I had called my doctor a liar. She said he was just being sympathetic to my cause. Social Securities claims examiner said I had a high IQ and was trying to manipulate the system. They tried using my work history against me and said I could work. The second judge I had sided with my case. I had a good lawyer too.

Annoying for you that you have to put so much effort into it.

I think I am in the same situation as you used to be.

bizarre. Yes, I think I can not actually work. But the social service wants me to work and they do not want to give a benefit.

I just do not know what to do. I have no psychosis or depression, but working is just too heavy.

And??? Who told you that life is easy? All the people on this planet has problems, difficulties and falling downs but what do you do when you fell down ? You clean your knees and stand up and start over!, Do not give up, on this website you have millions of stories of people who learned to live with our illness, yes there will be always times​ when our lifes becomes hard but it just a little part of the word “living” , never give up!
Sorry if I wrote something wrong , my English is not quite good , I send you my energies from Colombia

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Psychosis cost me my job. :frowning: I’m still fuming about that.

When I was in the hospital my prognoses was very poor. The doctors told my mom I’d have to be institutionalized. No one expected me to recover this much. I did my best trying to work. I liked working and the feeling of accomplishment I got from it. Except there came a point I was putting peoples lives at risk. Also the stress was interfering with my ability to do my job. The stress was causing me to have severe hallucinations. A long with working came more expectations for me to succeed. I’d rather be working. I could be making $2000 a week right now. Instead I get a piddly little check government. At this point I’m just sitting around waiting to die. I’ve had severe psychological issues my whole life. Right now my priority is trying to maintain my mental health.

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You may be right. But it is easy to lay the towel. Do you want to be someone with whom things go wrong again and again? But doing nothing all day is indeed no guarantee of no psychosis. never give up haha. But i feel so weak…

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I can relate to hiding the illness I would feel so crap at work but try and act normal. I told this colleague that I was being advised to go on antidepressants and she was like what??? U don’t seem depressed. But I really was

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Did the antidepressants help you?

I didn’t go on them but they just keep insisting But I wanna find other ways to improve the depression if that’s possible.

They also told me that i should consider taking antidepressants because they think im depressed. But i always denied i was depressed. But i dont feel mister sunshine haha.

You have to be very careful what you tell people in the work place about psychological issues. A lot of people don’t understand schizophrenia and mental health problems. I had an employer use it against me that I had schizophrenia and I was fired. People fear what they don’t understand and there is a lot of stigma and stereo types associated with mental illness. As soon as you say schizophrenia a lot of people will automatically assume you’re crazy.

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