Hey guys, as above, on a personal level was very depressed from a bout the age of ten, then i knew i would get schizophreni, anyone relate, thoughts?
I had no education on mental illness, and knew nothing about any of it
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I was terrible anxious the age 12 I didn’t know why at the time first breakdown age18
Very withdrawn in school age 13 till 18
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I thought I was suffering from stress. Became very anxious and depressed over a period of a few months. Took drugs and triggered a episode.
I knew something was wrong on first visit to doc, because sz came in for me sudden with in a span of 4 to 5 months.
I was studying well and participated in college extra curricula activities, and Shazam I was brought down with fear and voice and hallucinations. It was all of a sudden. I clearly knew something was wrong.
I really don’t know what caused or triggered this.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
My life was a crap show from age five on. I got used to the idea that bad things would happen to me and keep happening to me. I had been told my heart would kill me by age forty so I wasn’t expecting much of a life. The fact that I’m happy now is a total surprise and I have this persistent fear that I’ll wake up and discover it wasn’t real.
So the schizophrenia wasn’t really a surprise. I expected things to suck, just wasn’t sure if that was the kind of suck I had expected. At the time I was also healing from a spinal injury and walking badly with aid, wasn’t sure if I’d ever walk normally again, either.
I always knew something was wrong but I never put 2 and 2 together. I still sometimes don’t believe it.
I kinda knew it that I have sz or a mental illness as I started experiencing negative and cognitive symptoms 3yrs before my first psychosis and diagnosis.
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I read a lot about mental illnesses during the 3yrs before my diagnosis.
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I could never foresee such a thing.
I always felt special and with a bright mind.
I always felt dull and I thought I had chronic anxiety, however I was actually psychotic. Didn’t come to terms with psychosis for years after diagnosis.
Nope. Even though my mom was diagnosed with schizoaffective and my sister was diagnosed with bipolar 1 for most of my life… I still didn’t see it coming.
I was diagnosed with depression at age 12. Then generalized anxiety disorder at age 15, on top of depression. I had a suicide attempt at age 18 and the doctors at the hospital said I was manic (they put me on Lithium Carbonate), but I was out of my mind and thought they were the crazy ones. So, I stopped the Lithium Carbonate as soon as I was released from the psych hospital.
I was sexually abused from age 15 to age 20, by different people at different times. So, I was diagnosed with PTSD around age 22. Still thought I was pretty sane (spoiler: I was not).
Then at age 23, I had a pretty severe derealization episode (but not the first), Googled the issue, and stumbled upon schizoaffective & schizophrenia!! I immediately researched the hell out of them, went to my counselor, told her about how I matched so many of the symptoms for schizoaffective. But she shut me down, saying I was fine and didn’t have any of those schizoaffective problems. I cried, a lot.
Then I found a psychiatrist who specializes in psychotic disorders, also at age 23. She ended up diagnosing me with schizoaffective bipolar type!!
So, my mental illnesses are schizoaffective bipolar type & PTSD. Phew, thanks for reading. 
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I never saw it coming, mental illness was a total shock to my system. I had no knowledge or understanding of mental illness at all. I’m ashamed to say it but in my ignornace I just wrote of other people with mental problems as “crazy”. But once I developed it I learned what it really means, I’m not “crazy”, but I have had some wild experiences.
I’ll never forget my first panic attack, I was 19 and I thought I was having a heart attack. I didn’t even recognize it as a panic attack because I had never heard of a panic attack. Then later came depression, then after that psychosis. It’s been a learning experience for sure.
Yes I had this weird feeling I would go insane from 10 or 11.
I had no clue despite having a sz uncle. Lightning struck me with clear blue skyes.
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