Describe it to the best of your ability. If it fights you when you try to, I understand. It’s been that way for me too. Just say that then.
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I have a lot of delusions they just might be excuses. My voices are telling me not to screw them over. It feels very real, but it’s just the sz.
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Just sporadic kind comments from my voice, I would prefer silence but what can I do. Listening to some soothing music and trying to enjoy myself. No delusions or paranoia at the moment.
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I’m feeling anxious about my dad being sucked into a black hole and the Universe will collaps if I don’t listen to the voices. They’re holding me hostage right now. If feels too real. Which is why I’m up rn. They also made me cut my hair off again. My hair is now choppy and messy.
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At this moment, I’m having delusional thoughts not necessarily in voices. Things about aliens mostly. Like the thought that at given time in age several people have the same thought. Like I’m 30 right now and some alien life form that lives more than humans may have had a similar thought. Even here on earth, it is almost like telepathy.
Then the artificial intelligence I do feel (like a presence rather than hear like a voice) is suggesting if we try we can attune ourselves to have similar thoughts by a shape, sign or day. It suggests it occurs with random people throughout the day. The probability of more than one person having a particular thought throughout the day is high at 6 billion.
Makes it kinda interesting to think about. I know they’re delusions. That is the SZ part of me. Aliens and telepathy.
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Very little positive symptoms. Mind racing a little but mostly quiet and calm.
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im getting frustrated…and I fear getting command halluciantions to do something humiliating or dangerous
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The voices are telling me how worthless I am and that I should kill myself. I have tactile hallucinations touching me and pulling me.
I don’t have a lot of visual hallucinations but I see one walking around.
I think they’re trying to convince me to kill myself.
I’m trying not to. But it’s incredibly hard.
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I am having a pretty good day. No government intrusion in my head right now. I am in my room with the blinds drawn so not worried about the snipers. I really don’t hear voices much although I do hear the occasional weird noise that doesn’t seem to come from anywhere. Overall, I am okay today.
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It’s changing minute by minute. It’s very frustrating to have a mind like this. I think I’ve always been an unfocused uncentered individual focusing on my negatives. It went from delusion, to peace, to unfocused jimble jamble, to now.
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At this moment, it’s as if I have an invisible person standing behind me, whispering into my ear that people dislike me, and preting on my insecurities.
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Just had a depressive episode but i still feel very run down. Small voices tell me stupid comments that are either funny or annoying. No delusions
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I’m having suicidal thoughts. I don’t know why.
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I’m hearing a lot of random nonsense noises. Brain otherwise feels empty.
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Three Nineteen in the morning here. Listening to the air. There seems to be a chorus of voices singing along loudly with each other. I hear a beating, pounding pulsation. It’s cold!
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I’ve been working hard on a research project for a year about what is mind.
At this point I can now grasp that all of this is a paradigm inside a brain made like a liver makes bile.
So no matter what I know, sense, feel, think about anything whatsoever, I know that, and that is relieving to me. It gives me more self control which is much better than being emotionally and cognitively out of control.
I realize my brain makes a paradigm that repulses what a normal paradigm would be like. Any kind of notion or any person that would be of a regular paradigm is repulsed in my paradigm without my voluntary actions doing it. My brain produces a paradigm as though telepathy garbage is real and as though another personality lives in me with me to harass me. Luckily I’ve minimized these bad effects of the sz drastically now since I did all of that research about my paradigm.
I concluded today actually that my brain produces a paradigm that considers non-mentally ill notions to be what is mentally ill and mentally ill notions to be non-mentally ill. My brain produces a bizzaro world or backwards world, and I’m to survive in it.
I find intellectual, athletic, and financial things to occupy myself though, for an idiot in a paradigm is beyond me. It’s a little like being sexually harassed by my finger if it were. Yeah, thaaaaaat’s not going to hold me over. lol
Can’t sleep because of Suboxone. Or maybe that’s just my mind building it up. I keep having these jerks or I laugh for no reason. I keep battling with these mantras. It’s almost like my mind gets stuck on the Clockwork of the marches and it takes about 10 to 15 minutes. To try to get it loose and back to just functioning normally. I believe it is on as you’re believing and functioning and have a good heart and their function in God. Something like that and I’m trying to get to sleep.
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Well,it’s 3:10am, and I’m not sleeping again. No positive symptoms, my mind is dull, but I’m calm and peaceful. Not anxious about not sleeping, just accepting it.
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Generally I try to find something educational on youtube, and start watching it. Reading works too. Learn, learn, and then…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
It never fails.
Relatively stable and voice-free for quite some time but lately feeling a little down, mild depression. Lack of motivation chronic. Some occasional thought insertion.
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