I thought this would be a funny title for a not so funny disease. I know this is a schizophrenia forum and we have the ability to vent and discuss schizophrenia but alot of us have comorbid depression.
I have struggled with depression very much over the past year and it seems like it is getting worse the older I get. I don’t have the physical symptoms which I am grateful for but I certainly have enough going on mentally. I have been in a depressed state since about 7 PM tonight and it has been horrible, I know that doesn’t sound like a long time but it feels like an eternity.
I have tried watching stuff online and also listening to music but I can’t hold interest in anything. Everything feels so pointless and I am just trying to fill some missing piece of life that I must have lost at some point. I could be going to sleep now but I am just in this state where I want to find some understanding and try to reconcile this junk.
I have been looking up coping mechanisms but they all seem like a bunch of cliche trash. I have also watched some TED talks about depression and it is helpful to hear someone I can relate to so I thought I would make this thread.
I’m depressed at times too, but most of the time I’m so emotionally numb to everything around me. I have to force myself to focus on things that should make me happy.
I can’t stop thinking about how trivial everything is, I can barely occupy myself and today is a slower day at work so all I am doing is thinking about how things are.
I know I should be happy with alot of things in my life but I’m depressed and want off of this ride, I don’t feel any zest for life anymore. I also feel like everything is going to be downhill for me except for times I spend with my kids, and time is going by both fast and slow. I look back at stuff that happened over 8 years ago and it feels like yesterday but then I simultaneously feel like I am stuck in an eternity.
Nobody really says how really being depressed lasts as long as it can. I keep looking up ways to get out of this mindset but I can’t hold an interest in things. I keep reiterating the same stuff and am stuck just wishing I didn’t exist. I know the meds are causing some of this but I’m still gonna take them. I think I might be lonely too but I don’t feel like interaction can take this feeling away from me, this feels like a barrier between me and everything else.
I am depressed due to trauma of psychosis and meds.
Also as a consequence of meds I might have digged myself an early grave with how I’ve been looking after myself, or not. I defo hope pray to God things will be OK with my health. Sorry to keep bringing this up its in my mind a lot these days…
Yeah I’ve been feeling depressed today too. I don’t know if it’s because it’s slow at work or because I know what’s my next step as far as a career (maybe the suspense was exciting?) or just because I’m grieving some more.
I hate it sometimes when it gets slow at work because it just gives me too much time to dwell. My work fluctuates between low and heavy workloads with little notice and I miss having a job that was more of a routine, to some extent.
Having suspense is sometimes good sometimes bad, I feel life is all chasing around both routine and suspense. One moment you want routine then you get it and hate it and want something more unpredictable then you have that and get tired of it too. It may just be an issue with brain chemistry but I can’t seem to find something to invest in long term that keeps me happy.
I was in a much better mood last week, I have a good life I just want to be able to enjoy it more, there is no real reason for me being depressed unless I want to keep dwelling and hate everything. I should just rely on my old wisdom - ITS WHATEVER.
That’s great that you have the perspective that you have a good life.
So far I have a liveable life. I’m off APs and so far so good. So that does make me happy.
Routine helps me keep going. There’s some non-negotiable activities I have in life (work, exercise, socialize) that I basically do no matter what. So that predictability is comforting. But I have to gear up to do my dissertation now and move so maybe it’s anxiety too that’s coming on?
Yeah, my workload fluctuates a lot too. Sometimes I am swamped all day (10 hour days) and other days I am surfing the web and posting on forums . . .
I am just not liking being out of bed and among the living, I want to escape really badly, I think I am going to ask my doctor to prescribe me hydroxyzine for anxiety.
I’m pretty sure if I had less self control I would be drinking or using substances, instead I am just stuck trying to cope without any relief. I don’t want to be at work and I don’t want to be around anyone.
This working from home is entirely too stressful for me right now, I was planning a vacation that I really wanted but now I am all anxiety and depression.
@Longhorn21 I am very much just trying to get through now but this is just a constant battle with my mind. Right now my son is pulling me out of a bad mood, the worst thing that happens is when I feel certain ways about my kids.
