Schizophrenia.com

Depression, does the way you feel change?


#1

I’m just curious. The way I feel seems to change all the time, there are times when I can laugh and smile, yet in a moment it can change to dark thoughts, hopelessness, despair, crying, suicidal fantasies etc. Part of me thinks I must be faking it because of this, because I can have moments of perhaps not happiness but at least content.

Do any of you find the same thing? Or does the depression take up every minute of every day?


#2

You can smile, or even laugh, and still be depressed


#3

Depends how bad the depression is


#4

That is not uncommon. Yesterday was very up and down for me, one moment I’m happy and fine and thinking about the future and the next moment I’m in complete despair thinking I have no future.

It’s in a way worse than when I was steadily depressed without those fluctuations. Yeah it’s nice to feel happy if only for a moment, but going up and down like a rollercoaster is draining.


#5

When I was suicidal and depressed, it seems like I was that way 24/7 and for years. The only time I was in a halfway normal mood was when I was at work and too busy to think about my depression.

Today, I have zero depression and have not had since 2005.


#6

I have similar days but never the same. Before ect I was in bed all day every day from depression.


#7

I am on an even keel. I feel the same most of the time.


#8

My mood is pretty much depressed all the time when I have it


#9

When I have depression it’s not constant - sometimes there are small gaps in the clouds but then it goes overcast again. Sometimes I feel grey and sometimes I feel black. It varies.


#10

I can go thru a range of moods with hours - to angry, depressed and laughing. I think its my EUPD playing up. Makes me feel im faking it as well. Can be emotionally exhausting…


#11

When I was depressed, my moods were like a roller coaster, up and down day to day. The slightest bit of stress would set me off. It was unpleasant. I ended up taking some time off work and changed ap and did CBT to get out of it.


#12

Thanks for all your replies. I really wondered if I was faking it because of those times when I feel ok or can at least put on a front, but those other times are horrible. It really is like a rollercoaster, I feel ok then crash and am trapped in that awful desolate state of terror and anguish. I really needed to hear that I was not the only one.


#13

Don’t want to sleep in, like to be awake go outdoors sometimes, having thought insertion makes me depressed, I wish I didn’t have intrusive thoughts, and want to be left alone, someone is putting pictures if people in my mind and I don’t want to talk to them