I wonder if itās because I havenāt been getting my full amount of sleep lately? But yeah the night before last they came back out of nowhere. I had been excited at work because I had actually been flirting with guys and they were flirting back and I felt like I was finally moving on from what was happening and just felt really happy and cool and feminine and then suddenly at bed the demons started harassing me saying I belonged to them and had no chance with a normal guy. I basically told them to shut up and go away and eventually they did.
Then last night it was more of the same. Worked with the guy I sort of like (probably nothing will happen there he has a gf but it was still cool) and I get back home after and theyāre just going on and on about how heās too āgoodā and ānormalā for me, that Iām broken, Iām a freak, Iām bad, etc and thus only they will ever accept me and going on about that. And I was arguing but then I put my foot down and told them they were not allowed to bother me once I decided to go to sleep and they had to leave and they did. I refuse to be intimidated by them anymore. (And yes I know this is my symptoms acting up I still have insight donāt worry.)
So yeah a big disappointment to see them back for sure. Iām going to try to catch up with sleep and see if they go away.
Sorry to hear this. I have demons too. Lately, one demon has been trying to get me to quit school. He says horrible things are going to happen to me if I donāt quit.
The only thing that separates psychosis from imagination is control (not counting hallucinations). The entities I talked to were always different from my imaginary friends when I was younger. With my imaginary friends I made up what they were saying, I made up their personalities, responses, etc. With the entities, whatever they were at the time, I did not. I didnāt get to choose when to interact with them or what they said or did.
Yeah Iāve had a number of delusions in my time, paranoia etc. Iām very stable nowadays though that was more before I started treatment/got diagnosed etc
It is actually super normal for you to have a spike in symptoms after doing something potentially triggering for the first time in a while. From a PTSD perspective, I mean. When I first started dating again, my demon delusions got much worse for a while. It got better over time, as I became more comfortable with the idea that I was a regular human girl who wasnāt ruined or tainted in any way.