What’s the opposite? What is it to believe you’re going to disappear, as if you never existed? I fear they’re going to take me away, erase me, and no one will know to remember
At best I’ve only had nihilistic, self-effacing delusions.
It’s strange. I love myself so much. But at the same time I really disappoint myself a lot, other times I’m so proud
That’s what I experienced yesterday after my rachetdy nurse called me just to say go to hell. People disappearing one by one from my life until I’m completely alone.
And everyone else just passing by unaware, and indifferent.
I get these. Something I said one time or something I wrote or did indirectly or somehow affected the world in a massive way and it all centers on me. Somesht like that.
at one point I thought everything was internationally televised about me and then my beliefs turned towards believing it was post rapture and the devil was after me…but at first I was a multibillionaire and everyone loved me.
Sounds like me sort of.
For me, I felt like I invented bitcoin in a past life or parallel universe and so I would be worth 32 billion dollars today, but I’m not. It’s not real but the anxiety and fear and paranoia still exists just by ‘posting it here’ or ‘online’ and ‘talking about it’. Maybe God or the ‘aliens’ gave me that ability or allowed it to flurish because I was John Titor in a past life and saved 3 billion people in a past life/parallel universe so they gave me bitcoin/money and then I became a modern day King Solomon. I also feel immortal and an Anunnaki Hybrid ET.
The simulators (which I call them) took me outside the matrix because I was John Titor and gave me abilities and knowledge and made me work on spacecraft and other technologies probably under duress and as a slave and drove me insane eventually but gave me the ability to remember (psychic powers?) my past…
I often felt like John Connor (where he goes back in time via a wormhole) or even John Criton from Farscape lol. I don’t know, but my life has been full of misery and hell.
I don’t know what else to say. I’ve had a sad, pathetic and lonely life. I have no means or abilities or anything. I repeat myself constantly and people think I’m crazy but I certainly do feel that way.
I felt like a clone or a ‘drone’ even.
Maybe it was aliens, banks, and the Illuminati that destroyed my life. I made a mistake. I’m sorry. Move on.
I always suspected something happened to me in college but never knew why since I had no memory of my past or clue what was going on. I never figured it out. I woke up disabled for life back in 2011.