I used to think that I was infamous and on the internet and tv like that movie The Truman Show, and I started to think that I would be invited to perform in my favorite band because I was infamous. It was weird, I half hated these delusions but half loved them…they were both persecutory and grandiose. Funny how they had two sides to them. I also thought that my favorite musicians watched me listen their music. I could feel it.
I do have a weird thing about pictures of people I know. I always get this feeling that if I act up or say something horrid about someone in front of their picture… they know it and can hear it.
I know that is NOT the case. But if I’m irritated at my Mom and I want to rant at home… I set her picture in a drawer so she can’t hear me through the picture. Again, I know logically this is impossible. But in my heart I always feel guilty if I say anything bad in front of some ones picture.
i use to get this really bad, i thought i was going to be famous and go down in history as someone who changed things for the greater good. i also use to be really worried that i was going to turn into some kind of evil hitler figure that everyone despised and i still do, i thought i could be on tv and in the news as being revolutionary in my exploits, i like to think that what i have been doing that no-one else with my condition has ever done before, thats why i think it would be really cool to be a religious figurehead maybe i could be in the actual bible many millenium from now, my words could be immortalized
I’ve never had the famous thing, i’ve often wondered why others have that but not me, although it’s not really wanted.
I theorized for awhile that “they” are talking to us and of course some of their famous people would come up in the conversation, but after awhile i just said ■■■■ it i will never know.
Like that was my theory, that spirits rule the earth and of course kind of have charge over the unholy hollywood and music industry, so when they talk to “crazy people” some of their famous people come up, and things having to do with that kind of stuff.
We had one guy in the group home who always thought he saw famous people, i wonder now if he was visually hallucinating or just thought it, he would always be seeing freddy mercury and michael jackson and tell us about it. He even charged the garbage man one day thinking he was freddy mercury, i guess he wanted an autograph or something.
But anyway, if we were being talked with by the powers that be, which in my case it appears that it is the case because i’ve seen several of them, like “pan”, and they ruled and owned earth then who knows their peeps might come up in the conversation right? They would be their versions of saints wouldn’t they?
But i digress, i just said ■■■■ it after awhile.
I never had the famous thing either. I think it’s because I never had that input. I was always too ADD to sit through a show so I didn’t watch T.V. when I was a kid or a young adult. (yet I’m really happy reading long books. Odd, but oh well.)
Movies freak me out too much or upset me too much. With not having that input, the brain might not have known how to play that card. Since I have no idea who is really famous and why… I figure it’s why I don’t get this glitch as well. However… sometimes I’ll meet a person who reminds me of a book character and I begin to believe I met them. But then I have to tell my brain… “so we’re making friends with fictional people again?”
I’ve thought that people wearing red white and black watched my show and supported me. Whenever I see someone wearing those colors, I still think for just a second “nice, they’re rooting for me” but then I quickly realize that it’s a delusion.
I had the hallucination of Jerry Seinfeld doing elevator jokes while I was in the elevator. I also imagined the cast of SNL talking to me at times during one the shows. When I watched the rerun after being medicated the hallucinations didn’t repeat. I also imagined talking to Bob and Elizabeth Dole, two or three Presidents, leaders of Russia, and the general of the first Gulf War Norman Schwartzkoff who called me a crock of @#$%. During a news broadcast the news man repeatedly seemed to tell me repeatedly to “shut up,” Fortunately this doesn’t tend to happen any more.
I know what this is like. Celebrities have occasionally figured prominently in my experience with sz. I’ve thought they were trying to kill me, or were listening to my thoughts, or were communicating with me through their works, or that I was married to them, or that they’re angels.
Those are my sisters colors. Black Lifeguard shorts, White lifeguard shirt, Red lifeguard parka and swim suit.
However embarrassing this is I am willing to cop it! I believed that Darren Hayes from Savage Garden broke up because I was communicating by mental telepathy with him constantly for about about 6 years, there I said it! I can’t go into detail cause it’s to personal but it was a crazy time in my life yet things seemed so simply back then. I wasn’t really the type to get into Savage Garden but it was like a siren call and I became. Obsessed with Darren Hayes as an idol a peer and a musician. This is very private but right before they admitted me into hospital I thought Darren had died in a paddock some where and I was keeping him alive mentally by creating a bed and placing my computer on the bed and keeping up the mental telepathy!
It’s the weirdest idea I’ve ever had it’s not practical in any way and as for all that mental telepathy headed his way. I have broadened my horizons. He still rocks though. Strange days indeed! I was 22 at the time.