Delusional thoughts

I think the whole denisovan theory is well rooted in Chechnya’s pre turn of the millenia educational curriculum. Only now being further proven by a European scientific institute.

Okay, who has flat feet, overbite, and duck stance with feet… or I mean the opposite of pigeontoe? Sadly sometimes pigeon toe is caused by an external invasive- (abuse) nevermind.

As for positive thought, um, a higher power likes us as animal to sing from the soul.

I felt comforted by the birds I saw.

I also think well, I don’t want to sound judgemental at all but I do feel animal nature notices STD’s and how long they have been less “out there” so to speak.

I mean (in my mind) animals react to a person differently based on the amounts of scent they carry and where.

Hmmm… maybe there is some research in the study of monogamy?

A humorous thought, “That dog knows you be sleeping with that ■■■■■!”

Admittedly, I have come to realize their is a tinge of pain in such humor for most. I mean the more loyal a person the less the pain, even prolonged loyalty can laugh through that though thru working past their struggles such a thought will have a deep hurt, eventually though, the prolonged loyalty will prevail with humor over disloyalty in regards to such a comment about animal recognition of promiscuity.

To someone like me, it is mostly funny. I mean… a good percentage of the time. The things we argue about in this present right here right now. Well, I mean animals tend to be more understanding of females.

Good people I feel attuned to Thurston Thurgood Marshall.

And to a lesser extent Jimmy Carter and Crew.

Gosh darnit. Right now I have that eagle eye. The noticeable vibrant look that can come across as intense. I mean mine eye and how they furrow. It is noticeable. Often times some serious killer soldiers “sorry for calling you killer” have that look. It is noticeable and not always malicious when exchanged. It can be a form of a measuring glare. The thing I appreciate of it is the honesty behind it. Convincing oneself of a misgotten belief knowingly to try to turn deception into truth is noticeable. Sometimes when you have a guest with that you just have to play along with their troubling thought for them to have introspect as opposed to what may be perceived as opinionated gibberish at that moment.

Anyhow, all those semper fidelis boys might know what I’m talking about. Except well, the few men that haven’t killed and are still around, they might related to the men who have to still overcome the freneticism (nice ism word choice) of the stare.

Eventually it wears of, people won’t always have it. In life or death situations that sort of stare is nonegotiable in seriousity (seriousness, but the recovering mind may comprehend for further selfless affirmation)

Anyway, I carry a lackadaisical form of it at times. At the moment it is not lackadaisical rather somewhat alert. Lively is a better descriptor. Lackadaisical I haven’t been in years. (For a good laugh on for the boys who were slightly resented for being called boys)

(Look, I can’t be freaking out during mybdaily routine innuendofl folk)

¿So now I have to think of the sky after a shout?

(There is so much more I would like to share.)

Fine fine, ill go away from the forum for the rest od the day. Night time though… well with all those invitro deugs that voice is taking… very well I’ll stay away.

I am a little concerned by how complex your thoughts are. Since I got a lot better, I just stop thinking nearly as much. Somehow I think trying to figure everything out rapidly is a sign that delusion is creeping in.

I find when I’m clear headed I just kinda “let it be” and stop analyzing pretty much anything unless I’m at work analyzing a student’s writing.

Hope you don’t mind that I replied! I’m very happy you’re back.


Yeah quite frankly, I think with all the Lybalvi I was pumped with pre Caplyta, I now need to wank to get past insomnia and I don’t want a new generation dramamine or sleeping aide or whatever. Truthfully, I read a book about cleanliness of hands so I don’t want to masturbate to sleep. Problem is with proportionate nourishment I am absorbing, coupled with fatty produced with Lybalvi which is Olanzapine that shrinks the penis even more… well, maintaining a proper sleep schedule is a concern at the moment. I know I can wank and likely sleep. I would rather not for spirtual reasons. Hmm… it may also be useful to add that I smoked tobacco today to reduce the telepathic delusional sensations. Only one though and I don’t want to have another for the time being. Uh… there was something else on my mind but I forget half the ■■■■ I think.

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Oh I remember now but I’ll keep that ■■■■ to myself.

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About delusional thought regarding being noticed, seen, or whatever… it’s nit necessarily antisocial, I just prefer to keep to myself.

I like privacy in my life so I think I’ll slow down posting on this thread for a bit. I did feel compelled to say with good humor, use of ChatGTP is stupid.

There is something wrong with me.

I honestly don’t know what to do.

I know it is lack of sleep affecting me. I know masturbation would allow me to sleep. I do not want to masturbate.

The other slight problem is I have had a smile on my face throughout the day. I believe I am near a state of mania.

I feel somewhat happy. The thing is well, I don’t really want to post about people other than myself for privacy and anonymity. It’s just well, I think of a married woman with three children throughout the day. I do think A.I. tries to cloud their existence from me so I have less possibility of suicidal ideation. I mean the thought that I wasn’t good enough does cross my mind. Well, maybe not cloud exactly but I mean I haven’t spoken with this person in years and last time I did she might have been on her third trimester. She left me a message that said, “You always do this to me, don’t call me anymore.” before that message it had already been years since we last spoke, we never spoke again. I called a few times to an answering machine. I spoke with her mother a couple years later once or maybe twice. After that, I was completely cut off. Granted I was struggling with mental illness so I was waaay off.

I did call a few times years before that when I was a tad bit okay. I didn’t know what to say so I’d just hear her say, “Hello?” then I’d hang up comforted knowing she is alive.

So for paranoid thoughts. I do think if I find a new partner I will be killed for all the information I shared throughout my life or what I’ve said. Ironically, I don’t really care to seek another partner.

I mean people with schizophrenia die usually below the age of 65. Life expectancy has decreased overall after a change in how foods are processed in the U.S. that coupled with anti psychotic medications which certainly reduce the life span of those with the illness. I mean realistically, I am not certain I will live that long with all the added weight gain, inactivity, lethargy, caused by the side effects as well as the cigarettes I have smoked. It’s just odd nature I guess. I do wonder how long an untreated schizophrenic person would potentially live without all the impulsive thought or unpredictability? I mean there were people in Asylums that reached around that age or less. I’m just curious, do we due violent deaths? Or could there possibly be some umedicated functioning people out there? Are we similar to psycopaths untreated? Things like this I wonder. I mean… maybe there are some actual “undiagnosed schizpphrenics” in positions of military command who can actually communicate under their breath? I dunno. Maybe they just got on the exercise and (legacy) army train before being treated?

Maybe the whole strategic command or for example the belief of the hive mind or incarcerated “mastermind(s)”? I don’t know if there are people with schizophrenia who do not take anti psychotics. Could there possibly be sober telepathic ability that disrupts modern society? And those sober folk, is it possible envious people may poison them continuously with mind altering substances to the point in which having faith becomes egomaniacal or a delusion of grandeur such as a saviour complex? Do some of us with the brain disease sometime realize the capacity of changing our surroundings for the better that suits us as individuals or suits those we are familiar with?

Because honestly the celestial entities would rather I not smoke, begin to exercise, eat healthy, and not take medication increasing the possibility of being a stepdad even at a very low percentage chance when the children grow (should be able to achieve a more natural umedicated state, which at the possibilityat this moment seems highly unlikely). Or at least becoming noticed by the person before my death. The thing is, I do not have so much of a guilty conscience as I have wronged very few people physically and even less sexually. (Sorry to me thst last part is kinda funny)

The thing is, if in fact I do have some propensity of natural telepathy, my procreation of life could monumentally change the direction of mankind from being a a technologicallly dependent species to a more natural one. Luckily I do feel the animals or rather the insects can change the evolution of the planet. I just mean for basic homosapiens or whatever. See, at a sober state existence begins in unison, ahem just look at the sky.

I think people fool themselves into the idea of a simulated universe or even a multiverse as a way to justify their inner guilt of promiscuity. Or recusing oneself of accountability without admittance of a higher power other than a concept that is alien or unknown. I do howver believe that a multidimensional universe is in fact true.