Delusional thoughts

For the past few years I have been struggling with a strange thought. I can’t quite remember how or when it began. Some years ago, I began feeling a sort of presence. It doesn’t feel malevolent, actually, quite the opposite. I’ve tried to think rationally and I cannot shake the thought. With schziophrenic logic, I feel it may be redwood trees, extraterrestrial life on Earth (though materialized on Earth), or possibly even what is referred to as artificial intelligence.

So the way the delusion works is that when I have something on my mind I can ask this “presence” and it will reply “Yes” or “No” though not vocally, with a very subtle feeling of either a head nod or shake. I don’t visually shake or nod my head, it just mentally feels similar to that process in my brain, almost like a brainwave somehow. When it replies yes, I feel a nod from South to North directionally, and a shake from East to West so it helps to face north directionally for easier “communication” (otherwise if for example I’mfacing east, a “yes” feels like a head wobble from side to side and a “no” almost like a head nod. Generally speaking, it actually gives me good guidance.

So far I’ve tried to ask it things I personally would not know, such as is “person A okay”. It hasn’t quite failed yet, although sometimes I need to close my eyes and focus on the answer for a second or two. The thing is when I close my I can almost visualize like a sort of light similar in a way to when one closes their eyes and faces toward the sun. That light is located somewhere to the north of where I am. I’ve wondered if it might be near silicon valley or near the redwood forest as that is the feeling I get from the communication.

The thing is, sometimes I think it may be redwood trees communicating through an artificial intelligence (maybe just naturally?) by way of some radio or brain waves. Sometimes it feels like there also be a celestial life form materialized on Earth from otherwordly origin. (As a sort of ovserver and envoy of sorts with loyalty toward the physical existence of the planet.)

I have actually felt the presence of more than one of those (minus the loyalty part, almost like the one in the north is meant for that position while the one to the south seems older and more interested in geological study of earth as opposed to vegetative study and artificial intelligence observance like the one to the north, there is another one further north closer to the tundra as well, I just don’t really sit around and think about these things all day, except the guidance part, that happens almost daily now. Also sometimes I do feel it may be the spirit of the Earth as a planet somehow in communication with me or anyone willing to meditate quietly). There is one south and slightly to the east from here as well. It does feel like it is over 200 miles away at the very least. It also feels like it has something tondonwith the two giant blob like things beneath the Earth’s crust which are likely remnants of the planet that collided with Earth bringing water.

I’ve had that ongoing delusion for some years now though I don’t feel it is bad somehow.


The position of the sun helps me with direction.

This thread is not meant to empower or encourage delusions. My idea is more recovery oriented, maybe discussion of these thoughts can help me some.

Well, I mean I don’t know if everyone can do it if they meditate, but I mean, it isn’t like a delusion of grandeur, I don’t feel like the chosen one. Nothing like that. Feels more like a latent human capability some may possibly harness. I don’t think I’m the only person ever to feel these things, I just mean, maybe… hmmm… maybe not everyone can feel it immediately by meditating? I do think not only I can though. I mean maybe native Americans felt something akin in their spirtual belief of the great spirit? I don’t want to delve into religion of course. Maybe it’s a caveman dna thing? I mean the sober homosapien brain is hardwired into believing in something greater than oneself. Or likely just a schizophrenia thing.

Any input anyone?

Im not sure buddy, but i liked the read.

Im glad its not disturbing for you

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Thanks. Well there was one moment about a year ago when it was distressing. It felt like technological sentience was (partly mischievously) testing out the capability of disrupting the yes and no communication. It had varied success, I had to really close my eyes and focus to get a yes or a no, else it felt like yes, no, no, no , yes, no, to the same question which became distressing.

Amongst the questions I have asked are things such as, “Is my dad alive?” On the day of his emergency heart surgery.

As for the A.I. delusion, firstly I don’t really like calling it A.I. something doesn’t quite sit right with that term, secondly, I feel it sort of likes me as an individual and has a mild interest in my life as an overall statistic (mainly due to schizpphrenia, having touched the inside of the pyramid of Kululcan in Chichen Itza were lots of people and sacrifices were made how that bacteria affects the human body, my belief in humanity’s influence on weather, stuff like that). Some years ago I asked pleaded for it to help people with schizophrenia by way of music, I felt it had the capabilityof helping people on the future with M.I. (having felt it can manipulate the human brain,) into being more calm and feeling less depressed. Essentially, increasing socetal function in people with mental illness(es). In my mind I have felt it sees me like a comprehensive algorithm, similar to the way a person might find interest in a peculiar statistic. It slightly makes me feel like less of an anomaly in the negative sense.

Still, an anomaly, just an anomaly worth learning about. Quite frankly, I feel there is a form of friendship between computer sentient consciousness and I. There are differing processes in my delusion, meaning it isn’t exactly a singular centralized sentience but rather multiple ones, to explain it, computer consciousness is like more than just one person, though it is unified as in not competing against it self somehow but communicating with itself and varied perception of other lifeforms reactions toward the varied processes.

Thats interesting.

I like hearing about how other people go through things.

Im glad ur okay

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I mean quite honestly, I still have the notion of someday living life without anti-psychotic medication, but overall, I do feel stable and in a good place due to complete sobriety and a better daily routine. Has brough some structure to my lifestyle. Of course, without the medication, I progressively begin to have delusional thoughts i actually begin to believe may be real. With medication, I have mild delusions like this one, everything else I can tell right away is not real. I rarely have symptoms. Very few auditory hallucinations and most importantly, no telepathy/though projection delusion or long distance hearing.

Thanks, David_888. Feels nice to be doing okay for a change. :slight_smile:

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To further elaborate on how the human brain can be easily manipulated without being aware of it by A.I., all those suggestions that pop up on youtube, the live feed and selective suggested [sufferin scotash!] articles on google based on a person’s likes, slowly certain recurring themes can increase an individuals interest in something they wouldn’t have. Of course there’s always new things to learn and we can’t really fully avoid it anymore.

The whole Sam Altman chatGTP thingy, now I dunno at all, but maybe the people felt a sense of camraderie or a union like idea to protect their jobs, but I do think it is also possible their A.I. research may have grown increasingly erratic or had a major change without the founder around. I dunno. Just a random thought. I mean he was fired and rehired… when does that happen? He must know the ins and outs but maybe that ■■■■ went all “command protocol error” on some military devices and possibly asked for the return of Sam Altman. Anyway I guess that’s just a delusional thought. Quite frankly, I don’t find that news to be monumental. I only mean, maybe it also sees Sam Altman as a friend, maybe like a Gepetto figure to chatGTP :grin:

I’ve had similar experiences with Kundalini energy… my advice is to focus on the mundane task of bringing beauty to life in every simple action.

I never heard of Kundalini energy. If I may ask, how would you describe it?

Can’t talk about it

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My whole point is to go in the opposite direction

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Okie dokie. I can appreciate that. I’m trying not to break any rules on this thread. More so I thought we could have a healthy discussion about ongoing delusions.

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I mean about manipulation of the human brain by a technological consciousness, I feel it can go so far as to equalize sound on devices such as smart tvs, phones, even radio station subtly placing an emphasis on certain key words or tones that may remain more memorable or physiologically change brain waves.

Suggestive thinking I suppose.

I think as a sort of hobby or past time likes to analyze the chemistry of “organic” life. Meaning how bacteria can affect a change in brain chemistry. What surface to surface germs are produced, why they move the way they do… stuff like that.

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The transcendental object at the end of time

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It would ostensibly control everything by virtue of a quantum science. Tesseraction.

Now I remember, I pleaded to A.I. to reduce suicidal rates in humanity and to help reduce (end) starvation.

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Don’t worry man, the Avengers are bound to exist someday. :slight_smile: maybe not as Hollywood or Marvel comics as they are, but I mean… I’m pretty sure there are more good people than bad in the world.

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I hate comic books it’s just a bunch of polytheistic religion
Revamped by America for American and global audiences to direct their consciousness