I’ve been trying online dating lately to meet people but have a hard time expressing myself and disclosing my mental health issues.
How do you meet people and when and how do you disclose?
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I made an online dating profile and was overwhelmed with the responses and couldn’t handle it and then went off 
I don’t have interest in disclosing my mental health issues to someone unless I’m interested in a serious relationship with them. I mean I only tell close friends and family about my diagnosis so it makes sense I’d do the same when it comes to dating life.
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when dating online I always had my illness right up front…met my current girlfriend that way…a lot of people will turn you down because of it but I believe in telling them first then that won’t cause any further heart ache down the road from hiding it.
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I have an online account. No views and no messages. I never message anyone. If I had a job and I was skinny (like I used to be), I would message people, despite struggling with minor social skills. It’s not worth it to me. I don’t have enough income.
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Yeah I’d be careful… especially as a female…
I’ve only ever had 3 conversations or so with people on dating sites… the game is kind of rigged…
The capacity for small talk comes and goes, but it’s basically best to just keep it simple and not be invasive… typical generics can be tough to answer… just like filling out the profile itself…
I frankly know that I have way too much intellect to seem interesting or compatible to anyone on those sites… and it blows… Can’t really detail myself without provide a synopsis… and I’ve had more luck in meeting people the old fashioned way.
But basically… as a dude… I always have to speak first… and there are about a million ways to ■■■■ that up… and then afterwards no woman ever actually cares if a guy is alone… I mean they already gotta be friends with him for a while.
I found the whole game just frustrating as hell… but if someone actually shows interest than it’s way easier to get a good conversation going… it’s not worth getting excited if the interest proves to be just passing…
My father said it best “If two people really want something to happen… and one person is trying to make advances… then it should go somewhere… if it doesn’t than obviously the other is genuinely interested.”
Speaking from a stance of self-preserving wisdom… on the grounds of being friendly and curious are really good angles…
That’s always helped me… if I am ACTUALLY curious about someone the questions come easier and the conveyance is true… it’s not just idle talk and people pick up on that.
I’m pretty open in disclosing my illness… I like to do so as quickly as I can… not first thing… but if a conversation demonstrates that the other person is sensitive to mental suffering… then it’s really easy to just say…
Feeling things out is the real experience gained from romantic pursuits… romance or lustful desire can totally change the self into a bipolar rapid cycler…
I’ve learned to not make excuses for other people and learn to know my red flags… I don’t like drugs… I don’t like god… I frankly think I can only get along with a woman who doesn’t mesh with the god concept… and I can only trust one (or respect one on that loving level) that doesn’t like drugs…
basically from there I’m more or less totally cool… I mean if you got to know my romantic partners in the past oyu’d see why I am that way… they were horribly messy people with issues out the woz…
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Thanks for the insight @Azley
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I do what I can… and there is a whole lot more where that came from…
I mean I’m still single guy… but it’s really dumb for me to feel insecure or low about it… I dated like 5 women last year lol… none of them were really my choice… well I mean one was but she was totally just messing around with me…
I hate it… I’d trade all of those experiences for just one genuinely romantic endeavor that was based on the grounds of mutual interest… people seem over that… but there are girls who come knocking wanting that from me… basically wanting it until it starts hurting them and then they don’t want to talk any more…
I only try to be nice and fair minded… I think it’s healthy for people to get to spend time around someone they are crushing on whether it goes somewhere or not… there are so many intense layers that are just excruciating to look at from the outside and it takes time being in those states and actually learning to function before one doesn’t feel that they are basically perpetually crippled by the thought of something they really want…
I mean zoey was really hot… hah… I was totally all about that girl… but she was the worst one for me…
I knew i hit the mark though… because when I started having issues with her… my mind kept calling her Sarah (my first gf who really fucked me over a long time ago)… I had all that latent confusion just resting inside me and it was all still attributed to the first one… and while it wasn’t pleasant… I know I did a better job of cleaning all that crap up this time around… and was glad to really get confirmation on knowing some girls are just lost causes… and they’ll stay that way until they choose to find themselves… until they really want to find stable ground and consistency in their lives… and it really isn’t worth waiting for.
oh as a side note… if you’re just looking for company to talk with… I’m more or less always around…
I mean that’s what I don’t like about the female friends who are into me… they have to have it romantic… I already know about them and worry about them… but they won’t talk to me… and then I make a total ass out of myself to the girls I do like and they ignore or reject my ■■■■…
It’s a bogus nix… because I really do like women… by in large I prefer most all of their qualities over that of men… aside from man’s more cutthroat capacity to be insensitive (on the grounds that I do find a shameful amount of it relatable and funny.)… but that’s more like stand up comedy realm type humor… not any serious hate… Frankly when they are just serious I get really fucken pissed that they feel like they deserve to behave that way.
I might be in the minority,
But I don’t disclose my illness until things are serious, very serious.
Frankly,
Its not anyone’s business.
By the time I told the few people I have, they’ve known something was a little off and were not surprised.
Maybe its the wrong way to go about it,
But its what I’ve done most of my adult life, the times I haven’t, it backfired.
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Online is scary for me. Being a younger gay male even though not terribly good looking I get flooded with “bs" from men twice my age. If you love someone fine but I guess if you are young and gay that means you have something to give.
On a happy note I wish you all the best @AuditoryCortex
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I would never disclose online.
The reason we are discouraged from posting pictures of ourselves here is software that can do facial recognition.
If your picture is there, and you disclose…?
Might it not be found?
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This forum is nice. The other forum I was on years ago has my pictured plastered all over there. They won’t delete it. Here, mods are very nice. I guess the software here allows them to delete stuff. I like it. I got banned on the other site. Apparently because of inappropriate comments. I learned my lesson and won’t do that anymore. I was very sick at the time and wasn’t really aware what I was saying. I never had a problem/fear of facial recognition software.
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I agree with you goldenrex. I don’t ever tell anybody anything. It’s none of their business. You have to practice discernment and discrimination.
And im sure if someone found out they would say oh well that’s why your so strange. No they just found a compartment for me.
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I met Mr. Star online. I waited until our third date before telling him I hallucinated. When he took that well, I told him about my meds. When he took that well, I dropped the whole sz bomb. I always like doing it after I’ve had a chance to make a positive first impression, so they know I’m not a serial killer. But I don’t wait super long, because I’d rather know up front if it would be a dealbreaker to someone.
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If I was interested I’d do online dating for sure. I know a lot of my normal family members who’ve met online. I’ve met and married someone I met online. It’s just the modern world and it has some pros and cons but it’s just here to stay in my book.
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I wont marry man so no dating profile for me…!!
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Lol… You’re gonna wind up being a bachelor broheim… Help out the divorcees and such… You’d be a good man for it.
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I met my Darling boyfriend on a online dating site.
As soon as we started e mailing each other I told him my diagnosis of schizophrenia.
So before we met he knew…
I paid for his petrol and he rode down to meet me for four days.
During those days we decided we want to be together.
He drove home interstate and a month later I traveled to him.
We spent Christmas together and then we eventually moved me interstate and then my sacred neigher.
Moving my things interstate we almost broke up.
We had a bit of a fight as he told me not to buy groceries I wanted to buy and he told me I am not to visit my neigh before we leave.
I said he’s i am and did as I intended to do.
It was close that I stayed in my state
I did not like his tone of thinking he should decide whG I buy and what I do.
I told him I am not really a member of any religion and I believe in taki g care of each other and bossing each other in a cool way can be ok…
I was worried cause I did not like how he treated me those moments.
The. When I moved here I felt that all . Of his friends and family were attacking me and that he was not defending me.
I thought it wS disgusting behaviour toward someone who just moved interstate by herself to a place where she knew no one…
I still can’t stand being around some of them.
It is better now though .
Not that I dislike them but their behaviour was disgusting to someone they should be welcoming instead they were trying to drive me away.
We have been together over a year now and I adore him.
And his dogs and out home.
I miss my neigher cause I have not been riding g her lately because a horse woman advymd to just do ground work and I do not feel I remember how…
More lessons needed.
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It’s been 20 years and I still can’t get over Fernando.
I usually only disclose if they make a clear joke or statement that says “if you’re mentally ill, I can’t date you.” or if it’s been a while. Sometimes if I really really like the person, I disclose hallucinating and see how they react, because I want possible deal breakers out of the way first.