Current status

DX'd - Sz/SzA
1

Hi
Confused

Person claimed bugs are good for you and not a problem
Specifically roaches
Their home is infested
Conversation came up because I said I wouldn’t eat off the dishes or prepare food in that house because of the bugs
Dirty spread disease
Person told me I was wrong

Took the you eat 8 spiders internet fact
Changed it to 8 spiders and roaches a night
I said this wasn’t true
Pointing out its a fake internet fact
Told me I was wrong
And claimed it as fact they knew long before the internet

I know person is lying
I think I can’t shouldn’t trust person
Makes me worry

Think the bugs are sign I’m in bad place and person is really the demon

I had clear mind for a moment
Person suddenly came in room and began talking about alternate realities and mirror worlds and and demons being real and talked in circles and nonsense
I said no
I’m trying to deal with real reality and problems
Wanted to shut down trigger words ideas
Block the confusion and nonsense
Know keep those ideas out of my head
I think person is the demon
Making appearance so I can’t connect to the real world
Person demon? gets mad
Tells me I need distraction
No I don’t want distraction
Says you maybe don’t want but you need it
No
No
Wrong
Turns nasty
Bite your tongue
You need to listen
Don’t think about things
Don’t focus on your problems
Don’t try to find way out
Making a plan to make get to a better life?
That’s funny
Laughs
Meanly mockingly
Accuses
If I don’t allow distraction
If I think about focus plan
My mind will crack
End up crazy
Mental breakdown
Fall apart

This is wrong
I know this is wrong
It’s all sorts of wrong
I can’t shouldn’t trust person
Not some one like this
Who does this
Says this
Tells me this
But I think
Not the person
It’s the demon thing illusioning as person
Person is good a friend
Right right?

I don’t think person is good person
Or friend
Stranger really
Feel danger
It’s paranoia
I’m not capable of reading people situations correctly
That’s what I’m told
Delusional

But tells me things I know knowknow know
Know
Are wrong
I know are wrong
It’s the demon thing
Worse
It’s the person

I feel it inside
Squirming
Shifting
To tip into full madness
Fear
Escaped running wild
Paranoia paranoid demons alternate realities
Or the stark reality my “friend” is really a stranger who means to harm me

My brain is melting
Retreating
Bubble in bubble

Stark reality is bad
Pretty sure demon thing possibly of being real
Really hope not
I’ve got enough problems
I don’t need some demon picking me to target
There’s like 7 billion other people
Go ■■■■ off somewhere else
Or you know classic go to hell
Ok that makes me laugh

I heard the darko bunny voice today
Coming from persons room
It was their game
I keep telling myself
Hallucination I’ll allow
Please just not what I think it was
Heard person using weird elmoish voice
Made dogs growl

I think person possessed by demon
Perhaps one that has been targeting me
Perhaps one of theirs
I know they have demons
Of the normal fighting their demons variety
Also the other kind I think
I don’t care which demon it is or if it’s multiple demons in cahoots
Needs to leave me alone

2

It’s morning
Birds chirping
Light drizzle

Perfect
Alone and in a woodland cabin
But I’m not
So it’s dreary
And I’m stuck behind the glass
I’m tired of this

Followed threads
Two discoveries
Posters
One mad
With a touch of sociopathity?
One off the trails disjointed
Unmedicated?
I understood the ravings of these mad mad men
Intimately
Intuitively
From years past
Bridging time

I understood
The lunacy
As it made perfect sense
I saw other didn’t understand
Am I that mad?
Disturbed

But feel peaceful too
Connected to reality
I feel ok

How is it possible?
Madnesses insanity psychosis
Disturbed
Peaceful
Reality
Reality bites but it’ll be ok
I’m fine really
Mentally
You can disagree
Agree to disagree
Oh delusional you say?
Why do you insist there’s something wrong with me
Maybe there is something wrong with you
The majority rule does not make right
What’s the difference between standing alone in madness or standing alone in what’s true right and real to me
Alone is alone
It’s not the worst thing in the world

3

Thinking to myself
This could be heaven
Or this could be
Hell
Not a question about it
Really
It’s not heaven
Ok so is is hell?
Or something else?
It’s not Hell
I didn’t die
Did I?
Wtf I do to be in Hell?
It’s earth not Hell
I’m not dead
It’s hell not Hell
Because it’s 2021 and people suck
We are all caught
And people are full of demons
Some people aren’t really people
The real people are becoming outnumbered
Enslaved
Changed
Eliminated
You are delusional
No I’m not
Let me out of this cage I’m forced to live within

1 Like
4

The person your describing is behaving precisely inline with what is referred to as “toxic.”

I’ve known many and they all suck.

Azley agrees with you 100% roaches are a health hazard.

Some people are too sloppy to care. It’s like hanging out with someone who smells real bad. So bad you cam barely stomach it… And then get stuck wondering oh my god how do these folk deal with that?

Then to realize… Damn there is a big divide between my desired environment and theirs…

So it goes.

You deserve better than toxic company… And toxic people are too manipulative to deserve company.

That’s how I feel… Fair is fair… Get away from them as soon as you can.

2 Likes
6

oh, idk, Hakuna Matada! I guess.

ha.

7

There is a big divide between my desired environment and theirs
I intend to but for now stuck with it
I’m not sure about toxic
I find them worrisome
Untrustworthy
But maybe it’s the demon
Or the demon influence
Demons know how to really sink their claws in
Especially when people don’t believe in them
Right now it’s only option
I’m sure the demon thing wants me in this terrible place
Toying playing with me
Trapped
Don’t think because you have me stuck here I belong here

8

I will not be eating bugs pumba

9

I have never seen that
Then why did you?
If so evil
Why come back again
And again
Conscious ■■■■ stirring
Or active symptomatics
Or maybe direct target
Because I identified an attention point
So let it come from the source
A tenuous grip on reality
Anchored by solid taproot
Deceptively

10

Prisoner
In my mind
Whispers
Don’t let go

11

I think very much I want to have my nose surgeryed. Don’t hate just don’t like it. It’s not mine just a family hand me down. I’d rather have a nose that’s mine fits me. They say a nose can change whole face make someone unrecognizable something about sitting baby in a corner thing. Would it make me unrecognizable would it make me I’d be a different person me not known. DIY?

12

You should
See
Me
In a
Crown

Cloud
Crowd
Clown
Ha

In a crockpot
Lentils
Clarice

Ducking reality
Reality is made up of layers you know when it’s all layered properly it [word] but the layers has a glitch flaw hole disruption in layers or perception of layers and get a disruptive reality something wrong with you

A flaw in my code
Or
Am I the flaw in the code
I’m pretty sure I’m fine ish and it’s so called reality normal that’s the problem and the crazy one
Perfectly logical

13

sweet silver bells
all seem to say
“Please go away”
Demons will play
eating away
new young and old
food for the soul
Less that you know
the less that you feel
I’m cursed with
intelligence
I can’t heal

Watch the paint peel
Slow as the burn you feel
Break the heart you never should’ve
You can bury anything
In the woods

I’m a live wire
in a dead world
I’m a good boy
but I’m a better girl
So how do you expect to drown me
dumbfound me harm me
You and what army
are we clear I’m here
In a rearview mirror
But that’s how that goes
There’s a past
in the time capsule
I’m a live wire burning dead inside
But I’m not dead
I’m not dead
I’m not dead

until I’ve died

I can’t change my past but I can kiss the now and make it last
Take out the trash, crash, burn, another relapse

There’s an in-between smile and frown behind your mask

14

M

On
S

Te
R

Tell me

15

This quote is pure poetry. You write in a very enticing way even i don’t know exactly what the text is about. Hope you are all right?

1 Like
16

Feel it
In my bones
Bones
Cold soul
New age

All systems go
Deep
In my bones
Bones
Spirit cold
On fire

I’ll show you ■■■■■■■ crazy

Shhhh
You can’t win
You are not
A
Human
Being

These voices won’t leave me alone
This is not a dream

Remember
Remember when
Remember when I
Remember when I loved

Show me the
Weight
Of my soul
Embrace the
Bullseye
Target the monster
Mirror
Scream
Twisted
In the head

I can hear them calling
In
The
Bones
Freedom
Free dom
Free dominance
Free falling dominos

When the sun goes down
You’ll never make it out
Alive
Humanity
And
Insanity

You feel the scream
Can’t make a sound
It’s
All
Perspective

I’m flawed
I’m fine
Woke up like this
Flawless
I know the pieces fit
The pieces don’t fit
Square pegs round hole
I’m
Not
The
Only
One

17

Thanks
Someone
somewhere
Heard
Words

Words
Inadequate
Thoughts
Feels
Internal

Fine
Sorta
Kinda
Sometimes
Not
Debatable
They say I say
Fingers pointing

If you are outvoted
Are you still wrong
I’m wrong
The world wrong
Two wrongs
Don’t make a right
Pick me apart
Different

1 Like
18

It’s being done by stalkers who like lying about people. I never had any problems until a stalker started harassing me and I left my apartment. When I came back, there were all kinds of problems in the apartment. I had lived there for 4 months without any problems.

19

I live
My life
Like the captain
Of a sinking ship
God loves ugly
True beauty is
Not the absence of
Ugliness
But acceptance
Why doesn’t He love me
Eyes wide shut
The grass is always greener
With pesticides
I’d rather drown than
Ask for help
My worst habit
Waking up every day
My bright too slight
Too hold back
All my dark
Hey there little darling
Keep the dream alive
I’m coasting
On a dream
Did I tell you
I hate roller coasters
Feel so divine
Crucified
I’m heaven sent
Don’t you forget
Ask me what it’s like
Have myself so figured out

Wish I knew

20

Intoxicated
With the madness
Cleanliness is next
To godliness
And God is _____
Just like me
God is what
Just like
Me
What am I
Teeth
I can’t standmyteeth
Omgicanfeelmyteethicantstanditifeellikeineedtoripthemouticantstandfeelingthemicanfeelthem
In my mouth
In my mouth
Mouth
Lies
Lies
Lies
Terrible lie
Down in it
Wish
Sin
Reptile
Sanctified
The pieces don’t fit
I know the pieces fit
The
End
Hello
Hi
HGKMAGTH
Peace love and kerosene

21

A million little pieces
Swirling
Torn apart
Jagged edges
Reality

Fractured
Flat
In fin ite
(Like) Flynn

Do you understand?

I’m sick

Screaming into silence
Abyss
Silence is my favorite
Sound
Of madness
Ness
You said
My name
I’m here
I remember
I’m fine
Don’t believe me
Nvmd
Never the mind
And mind the never

I’m thinking of
It’s been my dream
I don’t know how to get a hold on it but if it’s all good I’m just going to be a good thing for you and then you can be there and you can move to the earth for me and you can get a few more things to get me out of my life if you don’t want to be honest with me so I’m not sure