Hey! Okay, so we’re going to start from the beginning. Sorry this is so long.
- Key point: My mother was schizophrenic, diagnosed as a child. (Around 11)
My mom passed a year ago. I think that really kicked it off. Within the past 2 months it’s really started. My head is loud all the time, I experience frequently what I can only describe as high energy episodes where I feel … Well. Crazy, as a slur reclaimed. I do irrational things like tape all my art to the walls.
I have frequent breaks in reality, one actually happened a few hours ago and the severe part lasted an hour, now I’m kind of in the downswing. During these breaks I experience delusions, I feared I was being watched.
I feared people were monitoring me and it was all a simulation and if they (trademark lmfao) found out that I knew about them they’d shut me down. Both of these were 100% believed at the times they happened.
But I don’t hear voices, and I don’t hallucinate visually. Since I’m only 16 and this is (theoretically) emerging, that could change, but as of now I do not… The psychiatrist I’m seeing currently said it was /possibly/ emerging psychosis/schizophrenia/mood disorder with psychotic features. They’re always so damn vague.
Sorry this is so disorganized, my thoughts are scattered. What do you think? When you first started noticing schizophrenic symptoms did you not experience voices, only to later develop them? What should I expect? Be open and honest, I realize you’re not going to diagnose me but it helps to have second opinions.