Conversation between me and my father

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I was 11, i forgot what started it, probably all the abuse.

So as usual he threaten to kill me and my family.

At that point i knew he wont, he was a pusy.

I remember only bits of the conversations:

me - kill me then, do it. you think i have something to loose?

he would get red and crazy angry, which is what i was trying to do to him.

him- i kill your mother.

me- do it, then ill kill you.

he would just got crazy angry and would make little white saliva at the corner of his mouth from all the painkillers.

To keep this short : in the end of the conversation, i had a swiss army, a big army knife and after i told him i will kill him in 5 years, which he didnt believe but was afraid cuz i had my hand in my pocket all the conversation, i got the swiss army and said

  • or i might do it now.

i dont remember much after that but at night he came into my room and almost did kill me, strangle me . i saw manny men there, i was probably hallucinating…

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I think it’s a good thing you stood up for yourself.

Sorry you had to endure such an out of control father.

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he beat me one time untill i was dissociating… i was not even in school yet, not even 6

my psycologist was real mad about that…

Thank you man, its all bits of memories now

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Is he still alive? A part of your life?

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he killed himself around a year after that , but he didnt really beat me as much after this incident

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That man had serious issues. Clearly.

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lol, i cant even say all the stuff he did. he did have problems

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I’m sincerely sorry for all the abuse you had to endure @anon28864342

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my dad has never talked about his childhood…when my grandpa’s funeral came he was in charge of the funeral…it was really sad…all of the children came to my grandma’s funeral and the priest spoke on it…I think only my dad and his sister the two youngest came to my grandpa’s funeral-and my aunt told me that she would never forgive my grandpa and that she hated him…I had visited him a couple times but never really knew my grandpa that well…just that he wrote books and stuff…

@anon28864342 so sorry for your experiencing that extreme abuse as a child. Just know that you’re not him…

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Thank you for sharing that. I can’t imagine what that must have been like. You were really brave to stand up to him and protecting you and your family.

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I was born a fragile boy. I must have had a guardian angel because I could have been destroyed so damn easily and I was always doing sh!t. My dad yelled at me once real bad before he left and it made a mark on me.

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