Confused to say the least

I’m really confused with my whirlwind of thoughts. Before I start Yeah I left a voicemail for my psychiatrist. Wiaitng game.
I’ve already posted about how my work treated me badly when my apartment was flooded. I just had my first shift since. Only one person asked me about it and she is new. Everyone else didn’t seem to give a crap.
Got off work and all the cars wouldn’t let me cross. One pulled right in front of me and he looked at me awkwardly.
Are they plotting all of this?
How can I even believe this while believing reality isn’t what I’m perceiving?
I’m just stuck in this mind forever “hallucinating” everything. Nothing is real. I thought I had died last year but I’m not even sure I was ever alive.
Maybe I’m an alien watching some awful television show.

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Anyone else get confused like this

My psychotic symptoms caused much confusion, and I never even fully broke from reality. In fact, I believe that to be the very reason that I was confused. I was trying to figure out what was going on in my mind. The thoughts that didn’t feel like mine. Seeing, hearing, and feeling things that obviously no one else sensed because they didn’t react. Knee deep in conspiracy theories, I began to believe that I was being monitored by the government and a secret society that ran the world. I was confused about why I wasn’t dead yet, and I was confused as to why no one else was worried, why no one else saw what I saw. I was confused about what exactly was going on, and went on a quest to get to a delusional idea of the truth. Meanwhile in all of this, I was spiraling, slowly losing my grip on reality. In light of this, I believe that your confusion is justified, but don’t worry. As you stabilize, you will slowly come out of this confusion, realizing that the only explanation for your experience is psychosis.

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I don’t understand the relevance?

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Wow my story is almost identical. But what keeps me down these days is not being able to feel emotion correctly

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Yeah, negative symptoms are a ■■■■■. Fortunately, my negatives wax and wane, so I’m not constantly barraged by anhedonia or asociality. The only negative that I have to deal with near constantly is avolition.

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