Confused and struggling to understand

Sorry I feel like I say that a lot but it’s a thing I feel so often it’s like it’s become a part of my personality.

Anyways I’ve mentioned it before but I’m a lucid dreamer and have lately been comparing the experiences of the physical (this world) and nonphysical (dreams) realm and it just hurts my brain. It is so strange to me to wake up in the morning to this place. I’m going to try to describe to you my experience in the nonphysical realm compared to this one so you can understand my bewilderment. This will probably be long so I don’t expect anyone to fully read the whole thing…but I just need to say it somewhere!!

I guess the first thing that’s really different is the nonphysical plane is so OPEN. You’re not any one thing. It’s like you’re everything or at least merged with everything and so you aren’t limited to one form to experience things with. When I wake up, I am in one body. I am this girl. With this family and these friends and that doesn’t change. It’s crazy!! In dreams I am not necessarily always that girl. I am whatever is most optimal for experiencing the area of the nonphysical plane that I’m in. If that means manifesting my consciousness as a dog, or a private eye man in his 30’s with a wife and kid, or even just nothing in particular that’s what I do. (Which also makes teleportation a simple process, it’s merely manifesting your point of consciousness elsewhere) Life in the physical realm is so LIMITING, you can only be one thing, only see the world one way!! You can never get the full story! Why?? Why is it like that?

And everything on the physical plane is continuous and permanent. The walls of my house are solid. My comforter is solid. It isn’t like that in the nonphysical plane. There are no laws binding anything, and reality is so flimsy and flexible that it bends to your thoughts instantaneously, your emotions. The walls are only solid for so long as I believe they are solid, which allows me to easily phase through objects. It also allows for flight-no laws of physics or gravity preventing it from occurring. If you believe it can happen it does. Anything. Absolutely anything. Endless possibilities and situations to explore.

Why does the physical plane have this particular set of rules?? Who decided that the physical plane should have this set of rules, and that things should constantly respond to certain actions in certain ways. When and why did this get set in stone??

Time as well. Time is linear in the physical plane. Not so in the nonphysical. Time is flimsy there, all over the place and as malleable as the rest of reality. It can resemble a linear flow if that’s what you’re expecting, but if you want to travel back in time-poof easy. It can go forwards or backwards, you can have 40 years go by in what’s only minutes in the physical plane because time is relative to the person there. And then I come back here and it’s strictly linear and I still don’t understand. (Which of course also affects memory…with no linear time sense, memory gets all over the place too…but I don’t even know how to begin to explain that)

I’m not even sure if any of you will get any of this that I’m talking about. I’m getting overwhelmed by switching between the two planes. When I come to the physical plane it’s like existence squeezed through a funnel. Everything is so solid and heavy and slow. Don’t get me wrong, some things about the physical plane are comforting (I always know what to expect), it’s just…it’s so weird to come from a place where I am not bound by any physical form or the limitations of time, space, physics, life in general, etc. to a place where I can only experience life in this one form, with this one strict set of rules.

This is what I want to explain to my therapist but honestly I can’t even find a good way to put it into words. Again, sorry for any incoherency. I really have nowhere to talk about this issue because I’m pretty sure I’m the only dang one that deals with it.

Dreams are dreams. Everyone gets them some people dream more than others.

I can become aware in my dreams and go have a chat with other beings. I’ve met the dream maker as he calls himself. He doesn’t like it to be known that you know about the awareness.

Now this happens more if I ponder about these things a lot in my day to day living.

is it real? About as real as a dream.

Why does that matter? Because what you heavily think about in the daytime is likely to be manifested in your dreams.

It doesn’t really matter though. You can choose to play in LA la land or you can choose to play in the physical world. Or you can do both. It doesn’t matter