well i never planned it. my last relationship, i really liked the women’s personality. but she was still young and wanted to go out to bars all the time, and i had already done my share of partying so was looking to live a little healthier. since then, i haven’t put in any effort when it comes to women. mostly just focusing on myself and getting my life in order. the break has been good for my mental health. and now im finding i have restored the love in my heart for other people. i got really selfish for a couple years in my late 20’s and was not very pleasant to be around or much for socializing.
now my dad has been getting on me, to start dating again. im open to it, but it’s not something i put a lot of pressure on myself about. i do have a little crush on this women from my hometown, she is a year younger than me. we used to flirt in high school math class. i always liked her. i ran into her a couple months ago and she told me she was single, and i got really nervous, and couldn’t bring myself to say something like “you’re kidding me, do you like being single? a gorgeous women like yourself must have lots of suitors.” but i didn’t say anything. i think it’s a bit of erotomania and getting my hopes up. but i guess it made me realize that im open to the idea of dating again.
if i stay celibate that is ok as well. i still have family and some friends. sex isn’t very important to me anymore, even though i enjoy it. i would be more focused on companionship and enriching my life with someone i have feelings for if it ever happens.
coming up on 10 years. time flies.
