Today when I was having my mini episode with the knife it felt like the world around me was going kind of psychedelic. There was a pink binder near me and it’d fade in and out being more or less pink, as if the Colors got more intense, same with other things around the area. I can’t tell if this was a hallucination or my unfocused eyes …? Do you ever question wether you’re hallucinating or what you saw really happened? I often beg them to make my hallucinations more obvious just so I could know to myself that they’re happening. Like a “show yourself” sort of ordeal.
Anyway, i feel like it’s stereotypical. It made my vision all wonky and I felt like I was on drugs. To be fair I wasn’t in a good state of mind at all. Catatonic, barely speaking, just holding the knife
It couldn’t cut me because they put a spell on me to make me temporArily invincible
I don’t mean to be rude when I say others Aren’t real, I really wish you were real, from the bottom of my heart, I feel very lonely in this box where I’m plugged in. And very sad. I can’t wait to meet you all again one day in the real world when I inevitably awake
Enough of somber rambling though-
TL:DR - can you hallucinate colours changing in your peripheral vision (getting more intense/ less intense. Just changing and moving)
This happened because of your autonomic nervous response. Basically, thousands of years ago, if you were panicking, it usually meant a predator was chasing you. So your pupils dilate, and your vision becomes very clear directly in front of you, and your peripheral vision fades away, to help you run away as fast as you can, or to win a fight. Other things that happen include your heart racing, blood redirecting away from your internal organs and into your extremities (which may cause you to shake), and you may, in extreme cases, throw up in your body’s effort to make yourself lighter and easier to move.
Oh I see that makes more sense ! Yes that must be why I was sensitive to those neon colours nearby.
Also no, but it’ll be okay @Ninjastar that I can garuntee, I am lucid enough to make good choices. Just a little sad. I’m glad you are always here for me though thank you <:)
I’m laying in bed now about to get some sleep. I managed to stay up till 10pm and that is definitely a success.
Do you want to know how to override your autonomic nervous response? It’s really simple. Put an ice pack on your head. I go with the back of my head, but my roommate swears by putting it on the top of their forehead. I recently learned the science behind why this helps. It’s called the diving reflex. When your trigeminal nerve is rapidly cooled, your body thinks you are drowning. So, it does the exact opposite of your autonomic nervous response. Blood redirects away from your extremities and into your brain and heart. Your heart slows down and your brain shuts down all nonessential functions. This is because your body thinks you’re drowning, and wants to conserve oxygen. Take several slow, deep breaths, and your mind should return to normal.
They should have some in the nurse’s office. You can also carry instant ice packs if you need. They are very cheap at the pharmacy. You just twist and shake them, and they instantly become cold.
I definitely think I will buy that then ️:heart:️:heart:️
Today was very strange. I think being alone for too long triggered it. I would just like to know what is wrong with me. I’m a little sad the hospital didn’t admit me, because I would have liked the support. I feel like if I don’t get it, something bad will happen to me. I just want to get better. I hate having swings like that. A guy smiled at me and the man in my mind went “STAB HIM”
My visions showed me sliding it into my skull
I feel sick, yet fine, yet also sick. Do you think I am sick?
I think your brain is malfunctioning, but it’s not nearly as mysterious and nonsensical as you think. Keep working with your doctor and therapist, and practice your coping skills.
They just don’t believe me because I am lucid at times. They think I am “well versed” as if I’m faking everything. It makes me very very angry. I don’t know where to turn.
Like I want to be a psychiatrist of course I know terminology
I’m also hallucinating colors often. I am very clear in that. Mostly if I look green than I will go to the thoughts at that time in my mind, but if I look red I will stop to follow that thoughts. I don’t know but it would helping me in the problem of my life.
️:heart:️:heart:️