I went into the local community college to take my placement tests today. I have never been there before. I managed to not have an anxiety attack beforehand. I had to cross a bridge to get to the building, and I started freaking out since I got triggered on memories of tripping out having tactiles in similar situations. I tried to fight the panic attack. I was lost and confused in the building.
As I took the tests, my brain was in absolute chaos. Crosswired and scrambled, focus was at ground zero. It seemed to take an eternity to read and comprehend a paragraph in the reading portion. Then the math portion came- too scrambled to think through the equations. “I’m never gonna make it. Give up, it’s hopeless.” I felt like how can I possibly get through classes? It was torture. Couldn’t remember much from high school- 23 years ago.
Managed to score well in the reading part, did poorly in math, but I just made the prerequisite for the courses I wanted to begin with. Well, I was out of my comfort zone, I can only hope that once I get acclimated I’ll get better. I’m not giving up yet! It’s not going to be easy, but I have to try. My mind was better than this when I took my GED tests 5 years ago. Well, I already knew that it’s progressive in my case. Salute to anyone out there trying to get through school!