Yesterday was another up and down day. I guess with only 200 Clozapine the marijuana has had it’s impact. I said no to McDonald’s as I had made dinner, well why am I being so rude and treating him so bad… Dinner was apparently disgusting. Spaghetti that my husband and I ate. He wants therefore needs a new computer chair as his back is sore. Solution: don’t spend so many hours straight playing computer games. Well that’s not it, it’s the chair… Refused to take him grocery shopping. Came home to attitude questions of did I get anything to eat because we have nothing. $200-300 a week on groceries and we have nothing to eat. Proof of that not all over my coffee table that I had to ask him to clean up. Called while we were shopping, he wanted an energy drink. Going through the groceries he pulls out the pizza bread I got him from the store that he likes, not our normal store (he doesn’t like it from there), no thank you, nothing… Apparently all I do is provide him with the bare necessities. He stayed up all night playing computer games. Then decided to watch a movie this morning. At 7 am I had to twice tell him to turn the volume down. Then he falls asleep on the couch which is a big no-no for me. Several slices of back bacon that I had bought for myself, on the counter uneaten, because he wanted bacon then didn’t like it. It doesn’t even look like bacon. My husband had told him last night to get a good night’s sleep as it’s supposed to be nice out today so we could maybe do something. Well he just went to bed…
Right now I just feel like crying. I get that it’s his psychosis however he is completely responsible for the words coming out of his mouth and telling me that I only provide him with the necessities and that I’m treating him like crap when he has unlimited internet and phone usage, lots of food to eat, laundry paid for, utilities paid for and doesn’t have to clean, cook meals or even wash a dish. We have gotten him a new bike, new boots, new jacket, NintendoDS, PSP4, top of the line laptop and pretty much anything else that he has asked for and really wanted. He is constantly getting treats of McDonald’s and Tim Horton’s. He got Subway for dinner a couple of nights ago and Chinese food last week.
When I suggested he find the money to pay for us to go to McDonald’s I got: Why should I pay for you guys… He knows that we just had to put out over $3000 for a car as our’s won’t past emissions testing. He just got some money from the government, HST rebate, into his account yesterday. Will he use this to buy an energy drink or McDonald’s? Of course not. It’s more computer games, even though he probably won’t have enough cigarettes to get him through til his next disability payment.
And of course the attitude of I’m an adult and you’re treating me like a child. Sorry but you’re acting like a self-absorbed child. I guess I needed to vent I think I need some time out of this apartment as between all this I’m trying to make sure everything is covered and taken care of for the car and for over 4 hours yesterday I got to listen to my downstairs neighbor’s music vibrate her walls as well as the night before. Then when her music stopped it was my son’s friend across the hall until 9:30 last night.
I will certainly have something to say about his next decrease being by 100 mg.