Since May I have been working at a senior home as a caregiver. It’s hard work and the hours are hard on me. I go from 8 hour shifts to 12 hour shifts, from day to nights. It’s hard to get adjusted too. I see people die who I care for and I also see them suffer as their illness’s get worse, yet I never let the death haunt me or upset me. I care about these people a lot and do all I can for them. From my time there I have already become some of the residents favorite worker and gained the trust of most of them. I never knew how I would do in this field on my own and I have to say I’m pretty good at it. I find when I care for these people it helps me feel better about myself as a person. Since I started working in this field I’ve become more empathetic and selfless. I don’t spend all my time alone or in my room playing video games. I go out and do things now and feel more confident with how I do things. I go and see people too on my day offs now instead of staying inside.
To be honest I would like to get back in the dating world too. Yet I don’t feel like I’m rushing myself like I used too. Like for example I don’t even feel the need to actively search, if the right person comes up I’ll see how it goes. That is basically how I see it. I just want to care for someone in that way but I don’t have the want for it immediately kind of thing.
I don’t even get haunted by my past or anything anymore. I used to be up late at night because of my mind telling me stuff. I also get good sleeping hours now because I have been taking melatonin every night and it has been helping me a lot.
Lastly I have not been medicated for 5 months now. I still have symptoms of schizophrenia where I see things or hear things. Most of the time I hear alarms or something or I see stuff move or something of the such. I can shrug off the visual but sometimes the auditory annoy me. Nothing to extreme though. For the most part I am doing amazing and I am also going to counselling instead of medication I talked to my doctor about it.