It’s 1984. I’m 23 years old. I’ve been out of the hospital since 1981, on medication. Unfortunately my paranoid schizophrenia still controls my life. No relief. But I have a job. I meet my mom and my future step-dad for coffee in a cafe. I later learn he has a degree in psychology but he chose to be a professor teaching business at our local university. Of course he knows my situation and my diagnosis but in the 30-odd years I’ve known him we rarely actually mention it.
But they ask me how I’m doing and I sip my coffee and tell them how hard my life is, I think of giving up, maybe even suicide. Both of them give me various helpful words of encouragement. This is before second generation medications. I distinctly remember them telling me, " You have to go on. They could come out with newer, better, more effective drugs at anytime: I hung on. and barely several years later… they did!! See my point to you guys?
yeah, this drug i am taking just now is a god send,
i know it hasn’t been passed in many countries because of the side effect being so bad but on a low dose it works wonders, i think if you are an a low dose the side effects are low as well,
idk if it is me or the med that is helping me, i just know that the older med i was on was holding me back and i am very happy i changed, i am not a zombie anymore, i can feel, think, laugh and in a lot o respects i am completely normalf.
thank god for good medication 
Right in this boat with you both. I wish I could say… it’s me. I’m healed. By the power of my mind… I’m OK now.
But without the meds, I’m right back to barely there. So the meds are doing their job for me and I’m grateful. I’m grateful I don’t have to take more of them. The few I’m on are just fine.
My reason for hanging around was seeing the sheer hell I put my family through when I tried to stop hanging around.
On Abilify I was a mess, with Risperdal I am doing ok - pretty stable but not perfect. To be honest I am getting a bit stirred up when people talk about how rosy their world is and how they have recovered from SZ. Little do they know that you can recover from drug or alcohol use or an acute illness. You can fall into remission with SZ or feel better - but sorry folks you dont recover from such a devastating chronic brain disorder like SZ - you can manage it, tame it, remain stable - but not recover - I have been living with SZ long enough to know better - overconfidence can be just as harmful as non compliance or neglect. One day - month - for years you are fine, then one day stress comes knocking on your door, and its back to square one - instability
I’m trying to make the most of this lovely city called Lucid while I’m still visiting. I plan on enjoying this town to the fullest. I really hope I can stay as long as possible.
But I do know it would be all to easy to have someone hand me a ticket out of lucid town and then it’s right back to being confused by a lawn and spending all day being best friends with my toes. I never want to go back there. So I work my butt off to be a good resident of Lucid so I can stay as long as possible.
But if I do relapse… I’ll start again and work hard and get back to lucid town. I’m not going to stay away. I’ve made the journey once, I’ll make it again.
That’s inspiring! Great post. My life would suck if the newer meds didnt exist. It really did suck before I found the right meds. Now I am in remission, I dont experience hallucinations or have uncontrollable delusions. Seldom do I hallucinate, but compared to how I was before meds, I’m like 99% hallucination free.
There is always hope. Thank you for posting this.
I have to ask, what meds are you on that help you so much? As a parent, I like to hear success stories and specifically what the meds are. I tuck them into my memory bank to possibly pull out in the future for my son. Would also like to hear what helps @mortimermouse and @SurprisedJ too.
I am on Geodon (antipsychotic) Xanax (antianxiety, muscle relaxer) and Propanolol (blood pressure med with anti-anxiety and muscle relaxing properties.
Geodon works like a charm but causes restless legs (akathisia is the psychiatric term for it) and the other two meds work for my anxiety AND akathisia.
I am lucky to have found a doc who got me on meds that work together to keep me normal. I was a bloody mess before meds, but I was also highly functioning, but it was like mission impossible every second that I was in class. I wanted to scream and jump out the window but I didn’t. I would scream into pillows at home and then exercise until I was exhausted…then repeat the process the next day.
My point? Meds are a lifesaver.
everybody is different but what works for me is a low dose of Amisulpride 200mg, i take 100mg in the morning and at night just before dinner.
Hey, good morning…
For meds, I’m on 50 mg Seroquel, 40 mg Latuda, Xanax as needed. I also take a vitamin D.
I think its awesome that I can just take a pill before bed and most of my problems are taken care of. I spent 9 years on meds that didn’t do anything but slow my mind down and had to listen to voices try to get me to kill myself 24/7. It bothers me to read people beat themselves up from social conditioning that it is bad to take a pill that fixes you. People never care that I have schizophrenia including girlfriends as long as I don’t act schizophrenic. The meds also work good enough that I can handle almost any job. If I don’t take my pill then I can’t do either of those things. I’m not looking for an amazing life just a good life and its possible with Zyprexa.
hang in there pan its just the illness talking.